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"The earliest I can give you is three weeks away - can you stay ill until then and not waste the doctors time?"
'Dr. Bone's first opening for a new patient is 2 months from now. Will that work for you?'
'...Do you have an appointment...?'
'You wait two weeks for an appointment with your physician or dentist...'
'...Better clear my schedule too.'
"Well I've only got next Tuesday at 4.30!"