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'All I know is that we found him on Monster.com.'
"Would you like to hear about our retirement plan?"
Tags:businessman, businessmen, exec, execs, executive, executives, career, careers, big business, corporate, corporation, corporations, day job, offices, office job, modern life, modern world, working life, working world, desk job, desk jockey, interview, interviews, interview skills, employment, employ, employed, unemployed, salary, pay cut, cut, cuts, budget cut, budget cuts, undervalued, undersold, undersell, financial crash, negotiate, negotiation, negotiating, contract, contract dispute, contracts, benefit, benefits, cryo, cryofreeze, retirement, retirement plan, retirement plans, human resources
"My leaving Wilkins & Jennings was perfectly amicable. They felt that I should be fired, and I agreed."
Tags:firing, fired, sack, sacked, sacking, unemployed, unemployed, unemployment, employ, employment, employs, employment, hiring, hired, personnel, staff, amicable, optimistic, optimism, business, businesses, office, offices, spin, spinning, positive, positive spin, spins, job, jobs, fire, recruitment, recruiting, worker, workers, quit, quitting, quits
'So. . .why do you want to work for us?'
"They fixed the printer."
"I'm sorry, sir, but I don't believe you know us well enough to call us the Fed."
Tags:federal, fed, federacy, federation, federals, feds, federal reserve, federal reserves, federal reserve board, board, bards, bureau, bureaus, bureacracy, bureaucrat, bureaucratic, familiar, familiarity, reception, receptionist, receptionists, modern, modern world, modern life, word play, play on words, nicknames, nick name, nickname, nick names, dating, date, dates, communication, communicate, communicating, work, working, worker, employ, employed, employment, job, jobs
Tags:employment, employ, employed, employer, cv, c v, resume, resumes, resume skills, c v skills, cv skills, interview, interviewee, interviews, interview skills, recruit, recruitment, business, office, offices, hr, h r, human resources, old, older, elderly, old man, experience, experienced, age, ageism, old age, working age, retire, retired, retirement age, retirement
"We have very little need these days to employ a cudgel."
Tags:nomad, nomads, nomadic, modern, modernity, modern life, culture shock, wander, wanderer, hobo, hobos, homeless, interview, resume, cv, cvs, resumes, job, jobs, hob interview, work, working, job search, employ, employed, employment, employs, employer, employee, employers, employees, hr, h r, human resources, human resource, interview, interviews, interviewee, training, trainer, trainee, cudgel, cudgels, h r nightmare, unemployed, unemployment, job search, out of work, technology, old fashioned
"It's time to restock the cubicles."
'Mr Bagley, I'm afraid there's rather more to being a bishop than having your own hat.'
"Here at Wiblington Social Services we value our staff and respect the need to treat them all as individuals. This for example is individual No. 126GH/89."
"Crumple this into a little ball, will you?"
Tags:paper, papers, crumple, crumpled, office, offices, work, worker, workers, working, working life, world of work, management, manager, managers, supervisors, supervisor, executive, executives, boss, bosses, big boss, delegation, delegate, delegating, delegations, employee, employers, employ, employed, business, hr, h r, human resource, human resources
"This is a very impressive manifesto."
Tags:job, jobs, work, worker, working, employ, employed, employment, employee, employer, employs, unemployed, unemployment, job search, application, applied, apply, job application, resume, resumes, cv, cv, good cv, good resume, bad resume, bad cv, what not to do, not to do, hr, h r, human resources, human resource, personnel, manifesto, manifestos, politics, political, political manifesto, recruit, recruiting, recruitment, recruits, recruiter
"You'll find it on page 46, paragraph 23, clause 18 of your contract under 'any other business'"
Help wanted - Better help wanted.
I don't know there's something about the guy in the middle, he just doesn't look right
'We are fully committed to stamping out sexism so we really want you to see yourself as one of the chaps.'
'Pick a contract...any contract!'
"I'm looking for someone who's qualified to cover my mistakes."
Tags:ignorance, ignorant, stupid, stupidity, management, upper management, big boss, boss, bosses, manager, managers, exec, execs, executive, executives, cardboard, placeholder, place holder, unreasonable, request, interview, interviews, interviewee, employ, employee, new job, new career, mistake, mistakes, cover up, cover-up, unrealistic, consequences, when will you learn
'We don't believe a word of this c.v... And we'd like to offer you a job.'
"Don't worry we'll medicate you through the probationary period."
Tags:human, resources, human resources, hr, h r, h.r, employ, employed, employer, employee, employs, recruit, recruited, recruitment, recruiting, pill, pills, medical, medicine, medicines, pill bottle, pill bottles, tablet, tablets, prescription, prescribe, prescribes, prescribing, corporate, corporation, depressed, depression, depressing, depresses, critic, critical, critique, social critique, big business, capitalism, capitalist, capitalism, sacrifice, sacrifices, workplace, working, work, workplaces, worker, abuse of power, power
'Well, at least we're ahead of our competitors in the number of CFOs we've had in the past year.'
"Sorry, but no. I can't lend you a student to help clean up your yard."
"Call the staffing agency and cancel. I made this guy with a 3-D Printer."
Tags:3-d printer, staffing, office, medical, healthcare, nurse, doctor, short staffed, business, technology, it, professions, cloning, 3d, 3d printer, employment, employ, employers, employee, hr, human resources, technology, development, 3d printing, printing, 3-d, additive manufacturing, am, staff, staffing
This is not about team building, but about cutting back on labour costs...