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"I wish I had read your resume before we got married."
"You're great at expressing your emotions. What you're bottling up now is job skills."
"I'd like one of those careers where you make a six-figure income while wearing a T-shirt and sweatpants."
'What is this copyright notice, from OnlineResumesForYou, doing at the bottom of your resume?'
"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."
'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'
"That's my sock drawer- I just wanted you to see how organized I am."
"They say things are picking up but I'm finding that nobody seems to be hiring at all."
'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'
'I'm working because I've been upgraded. He never upgraded so he's out of work.'
Supermarkets - The board was discussing sell-by dates - including yours.
"Do you realise what this is going to do to my CV!"