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"Incentive plan? Your paycheck clears. How's that for incentive?"
Company benefit: lemon-flavored water
"I work here because I need health insurance. I need health insurance because I work here."
'I think you'll like working here. We have an on-site work-out room, dry cleaner, and, for those who need it, electro shock therapy center.'
"At this company we treat all our employees the same. All pay, hours and benefits suck for everyone."
"You wouldn't spend twelve years with an organization that didn't even offer a 401K."
'If you fail to meet your target, you'll lose your Internet privileges for a week.'
'The position carries no salary, just medical coverage.'
'Perhaps, Mr. Hartwelder, you could arrange to have the company pay me in cash rather than stock options.'
'This button connects you to the inner ear of every worker.'
"Sir, this applicant just died!"
"I'd cut your benefits instead of your job, if you had any."
"It says I'm entitled to the company's full health benefits package when I become pregnant."
'We considered offering health insurance, but it's cheaper to have taxpayers pick up the tab at hospital emergency rooms.'
'I'm here to offer you the company's free preventive health counseling...DON'T GET SICK OR ELSE!'
'What's a 13 letter word that means BENEFITS PACKAGE?'
"Will I be covered by the same medical benefits plan?"
"Dental benefits? Sure, there's a firm door-knob on the storage room's door and a ball of string inside."
'I flatly refuse to give him fringe benefits before dinner!'
'That's right. Employee benefits include childcare free of charge.'