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' ... and, finally, your contract allows you five minutes on Valentine's day to smell the roses.'
Carrot of Motivation
Tags:incentive, incentives, motivation, motivations, golden carrot, golden carrots, employee perk, employee perks, employer, employers, manager, managers, management, managements, incentivise, carrot, carrot and stick, motivate, motivational, hr, personnel, human resources, corporate ladder, corporate culture
"I'm afraid we can't offermuch in the way of remuneration, career support or personal development....but would 30% more meaningless platitudes about your value to the department tempt you to stay?"
Tags:pay, remunerations, pay scales, remuneration, pay scale, managements, corporate culture, corporate environment, personal development, career advancements, career advancement, manager, managers, management, promotion, promotions, rewards, reward, job perk, job perks, employee perk, employee perks
"Recruitment is a nightmare...We need to focus on the advantages of working here!"
"Money will be no object when it comes to lowering our expenses."
Tags:expenses account, expenses accounts, expenses, expenses report, expenses reports, finance, finances, bankruptcy, bankruptcies, economic downturn, economic downturns, economic, economics, economy, downsize, downsizes, spending cut, spending cuts, employee perk, employee perks, job perk, job perks
"At this company we treat all our employees the same. All pay, hours and benefits suck for everyone."
"We don't have a gym, but your parking space is six miles away."
Tags:gym, gyms, workout, workouts, exercise, exercises, fitness regime, fitness regimes, employee benefits, exercise equipment, employee perk, employee perks, job perk, job perks, working environment, working environments, personnel, hr, human resources, parking space, parking spaces, employee, employees, employer, employers, job candidate, job candidates, job interview, job interviews
"To cut costs, the company is no longer providing you with a company car. We did, however, buy you a pair of good walking shoes."
Tags:cost cutting, cutting costs, company car, company cars, company transport, company transports, company transportation, walking shoe, walking shoes, walking boot, walking boots, economise, economize, economising, economizing, employee perk, downsizing, downsize, downsizes, employee perks, job perk, job perks, job benefit, job benefits
'If you fail to meet your target, you'll lose your Internet privileges for a week.'
"Sorry for the confusion. By promising you an appreciation lunch, I'm simply allowing you to take one. Be back in thirty minutes."
Tags:job perk, job perks, appreciation lunch, appreciation lunches, bonus, bonus, employee perk, employee perks, burnout, burnouts, burned out, overwork, overworked, overworking, boss, bosses, office politics, corporate culture, underappreciated, exploit, exploited, exploitative, worker, workers, reward, rewards, stingy, stinginess
'I know it's not much of a bonus, but it does include unlimited breadsticks.'
"Jim, we're moving you to the front cubicle. For some reason, all our potential employees insist on seeing the 'company Jim.'"
Tags:company gym, company gyms, office gym, office gyms, gym, gyms, workout, workouts, work-out, work-outs, job perk, job perks, corporate perk, corporate perks, office cubicle, office cubicles, office job, office jobs, office worker, office workers, work perk, work perks, hr, human resources, personnel, job applicants, job candidates, potential, employee, employees, employee perk, employee perks
"Instead of a holiday party, the boss gave us a coupon for a burger at the drive-thru."
Tags:holiday party, holiday parties, christmas party, christmas parties, xmas party, xmas parties, drive thru, drive thrus, drive-thru, drive-through, cheapskate, cheapskates, miser, misers, misery, boss, bosses, employee, employees, employer, employers, job perk, job perks, job benefits, job benefits, employee benefits, employee benefits, employee perk, employee perks, festive period
"When they fired me, they took back my parking pass and photo ID, but they let me keep my migraines and ulcers."
'We don't have a health plan, but we have a very nice cemetery right out in the churchyard.'
'Desks equipped with airbags - for now that's our company's health plan.'
'As Employee of the Month you get to be first on the elevator.'
"Can you fire me in half an hour?... I'm just about to go on my tea break."
"You're lucky this job became available, our firm has an unusually low staff turnover."
'Does this mean we no longer get ice cream?'
"And after you've been with us for awhile you're entitled to a week at the company's resort cubicle."
'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'
Tags:raw meat, salesmen, salesman, salespeople, salesperson, bonus, bonuses, job perk, job perks, perk, perks, salary, salaries, wage, wages, income, incomes, employee perk, employee perks, predator, predators, performance bonus, performance bonuses, reward, rewards, sales figures, sales chart, sales target, sales targets
"Dental benefits? Sure, there's a firm door-knob on the storage room's door and a ball of string inside."
"Will I be covered by the same medical benefits plan?"
'How the devil did we get started allowing vice presidents to keep a cat?'