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'We need to update our employee recognition program.'
A poster next to a busy beehive shows a photo of a bee under the words "Employee of the week".
'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'
"Put me on the intercom. It's time for the Morning Motivational Roar."
"Since I deeply value recognition, I'm honored to present this 'Outstanding Effort' award to what's-his-name here."
Employee Of The Month
'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'
"They finally gave me the employee of the month award, but it kind of loses its meaning when every single other employee has already gotten it five times.'