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'You're a credit to this firm, Miss Button and through no fault of your own you're also a liability.'
'Well bang goes your second career as a claimant.'
'You can't agree on who gets maternity or paternity leave...'
'Damn. I forgot to sack the staff.'
'Whatever happened to the good old principle of 'Hire 'em and Fire 'em'?'
'Where's the fun in being an employer if you can't spontaneously sack someone anymore.'
"We like to deal promptly with any employee grievance in this firm."
'I'm you early conciliation support officer.'
'Apparently Wednesday is early conciliation day.'
'Frankly I'm disappointed in your commitment to late night shelf stacking.'
'Unfortunately my staff are now all working flexitime.'
'I'm still your employer and I insist you board this flight to Malaga.'
'Your blood pressure's stabilised now...you can sign the cheque.'
'I'm not sure this is what Thomas Paine had in mind.'
'Just the usual bills. Business rates,electricity, phone...unfair dismissal claims.'
'I'm all for shared parenting but I suspect you're milking this Brigson.'
'Your request for paid leave to the training conference has hit him hard.'
'You're not alone...plenty of other employers have union officials on paid leave for training!'