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"I've got some skills - I'm just not sure they add up to a 'set.'"
"I know you're a working dog, Angus. I just don't have anything for you right now."
"I've got an opening for a project manager in a corporation that will chew you up and spit you back out on the street in record time. Interested?"
Tags:employment, employment agency, employment agencies, employment agent, employment agents, personnel, hr, h.r., human resources, recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, job, jobs, hiring, career, careers, work, job hunting, job searching, job seeking, job seeker, job seekers, applicant, applicants, candidate, candidates, job opening, job openings, project manager, project managers, management, corporation, corporations, corporate culture, black company, looking for a job, bad idea, bad ideas, business, businessman, businessmen, corporate, office, offices, office life
"I forgot to say I was breast-fed."
Tags:breastfeed, breastfeeds, breastfeeding, qualification, qualifications, qualify, qualifies, qualifying, resume, resumes, personnel, personnel department, personnel departments, employment, employment agencies, padding your resume, unqualified, c/v, c/vs, cv, cvs, hire, hires, hiring, hiring officer, hiring officers, personnel, personnel department, personnel departments, hr department, hr departments
"It appears you're a bit overqualified to be exploited but somewhat underqualified to exploit others."
Tags:underqualified, overqualified, employment agency, employment agencies, employments, employee, employees, exploit, exploits, exploiting, exploitation, middle manager, middle managers, manager, managers, recruit, recruits, recruitment, bureaucracy, bureaucracies, late capitalism, capitalist, capitalism, middle ground, middle grounds, personnel, personnel department, job interview, job interviews, interview, interviews, interviewing
ACME Employment Agency
"My most recent position was under a house."
Tags:wizard of oz, l. frank baum, lyman frank baum, wicked witch, employment history, working history, work history, job history, employment agency, employment agencies, hr, human resources, job interview, job interviews, career change, career changes, witch, witches, witchcraft, literary character, children's book, children's literature
"I'm available every day except one."
"I'll be frank - we offered it to Mario Cuomo first, but he turned it down."
Tags:mario cuomo, supreme court, supreme court nomination, supreme court nominations, employment agency, employment agency, employment agencies, unemployment, unemployment officer, unemployment officers, temp, temps, temp worker, temp workers, candidate, candidates, job candidate, job candidates, justice, justices, supreme court justice, supreme court justices, united states, usa, united states of america, hire, hires, hiring officer, hiring officers, job interview, job interviews, interviewing
"Where do you see yourself when the hot weather hits?"
Tags:hiring, hire, hires, employment agency, employment agencies, employment, job interview, job interviews, interview, interviews, interview question, interview questions, snowman, snowmen, winter, winter season, end of winter, melt, melts, melting, melted, warm weather, global warming, climate change, temp, temps, work temp, work temps, future, hot weather
'Employment agency: We have lots of jobs for robots, apps, drones.'
"There are several openings if you're willing to cross over to the dark side."
Employment agencies preference for migrant workers.
"Any talents besides tasting good?"
"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"
Tags:employment agency, employment agencies, overqualified, underqualified, qualification, qualifications, cv, cvs, resume, resumes, hr, human resources, personnel, job candidate, job candidates, job applicant, job applicants, job application, job applications, under-qualified, over-qualified, job opportunity, job opportunities
"Note to self: contact employment agency - regarding boxing careers."
Tags:boxer, boxers, boxing, boxing match, boxing matches, career path, career paths, career, careers, employment agency, employment agencies, employment opportunity, employment opportunities, packaging, packaging factory, packaging factories, job opportunity, job opportunities, career path, career paths
"The only job open is that of 'human cannonball'...lousy pay, but frequent flyer miles."
'Got any rugby jobs?'
"It appears you're a bit overqualified to be exploited, but somewhat underqualified to exploit others."
'Our computer thinks you should move to Sweden and try to get on public assistance.'
"Sorry. With fake news and alt facts, we've got nothing for you."
Tags:alternative facts, alternate fact, alternate facts, alternative fact, fake news, alt right, truth tellers, truth, report, reports, reporting, reported, u.s. politics, political, donald trump, trump, u.s. president, president, presidents, truth teller, employment agency, unemployment, employment agencies
When staffing agencies screw up.
Tags:staff, staffing, staffing agencies, staffing agency, employment agency, employment agencies, headhunter, headhunters, screw up, screw ups, mix up, mix ups, lifeguard, lifeguards, prison guard, prison guards, job skill, job skills, dream job, dream jobs, job, jobs, job hunter, job hunters, job seeker, job seekers, cv, cvs, resume, resumes
'...I know just the man, I'll send him right over.'
'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'