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"You get five paid sick days and two disgruntled days."
Tags:employed, employment, employer, employers, sick day, sick days, sick leave, disgruntled, disgruntlement, employment law, worker benefits, workers benefits, worker's benefits, bad employer, bad employers, unfulfilled, unfulfilling, unfulfilling job, unfulfilling jobs, unfulfilling work, ill, illness, unwell, sick, sickness, entitlement, new job, new jobs, contract, contracts, job contract, job contracts, work contract, work contracts, unhappy, unhappiness, job satisfaction
Panel discussion: absenteeism in the workplace.
'At the office 'lateral hires' let us bypass all the 'nurturing' so I thought we could do the same at home...this is Nigel our new 23 year old son.'
'Now...let's have our little talk and avoid a tribunal.'
'What's this nonsense about you not having enough time to go to the toilet?'
'I didn't do the paper work necessary for you to get paid because I figured you don't need the money since your husband also works.'
'You're a credit to this firm, Miss Button and through no fault of your own you're also a liability.'
'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'
'Santa wouldn't employ me because I'm an African elephant, not a reindeer. I want to sue him for discrimination!'
You can discriminate against some of your employees some of the time, all of your employees some of the time, some of your employees all of the time, or I suppose you could study this.'
'Here's a signed statement from Vince Cable saying we can get rid of underperforming employees more easily.'
'You're right; there's a frozen pea on the floor. I'll cordon off the area, sound the store alarm and call in the disposal experts.'
'I don't bloody believe it !'
'I was just giving her a few examples and she passed out.'
'Is that Net or Gross ?'
'There's no jury...I take it you're new to unfair dismissal claims.'
'I don't think the employment tribunal will be altogether happy with the third column.'
"These new regulations will fundamentally change the way we get around them."
Tags:regulation, regulations, new regulation, new regulations, red tape, loophole, loopholes, tax avoidance, tax evasion, tax evader, tax evaders, white collar crime, white collar crime, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, technicality, technicality, executive, executives, business executive, business executives, formality, formalities, crime, crimes, employment law, avoiding, avoidance, dodgy dealings, dirty dealings, dirty money
'The way to look at it, Benson, is it's a simple choice. Enrol in the company pension scheme or burn in the fiery pits of Hell for all eternity.'
'You may be confident of your claim but we still can't take a post-dated cheque.'
'I'd like to request flexible working to avoid my family.'
'You can't start a job interview with 'How are you ?' It's a veiled inquiry into my general health.'
'Conduct dismissal was what I had in mind...but it's just too damned complicated.'
'We've been unfairly dissed...'
"Management wants to introduce more flexibility into our working hours...starting with the 108 hour weekend!"