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'At the office 'lateral hires' let us bypass all the 'nurturing' so I thought we could do the same at home...this is Nigel our new 23 year old son.'
'You're a credit to this firm, Miss Button and through no fault of your own you're also a liability.'
'Here's a signed statement from Vince Cable saying we can get rid of underperforming employees more easily.'
You can discriminate against some of your employees some of the time, all of your employees some of the time, some of your employees all of the time, or I suppose you could study this.'
'The way to look at it, Benson, is it's a simple choice. Enrol in the company pension scheme or burn in the fiery pits of Hell for all eternity.'
"I don't know what they mean about us changing ALL workers terms and conditions? .... We're letting them hang on to the 70 hour week!"
'You need to go home, take a long relaxing bath surrounded by aromatic candles and do an hour of yoga; but that's out of the question. How about a five minute smoking break ?'
"Management wants to introduce more flexibility into our working hours...starting with the 108 hour weekend!"
'Well this is a tough choice.'
'Damn. I forgot to sack the staff.'
"In the Budget the minimum wage has gone up...another few months and we should be able to afford that cup of coffee we've been talking about!"
'We don't pay you less because you're a woman, we pay you less because we're men!'
'I need time off to cycle to a vegan picnic at Stonehenge.'
'We have to face up to the fact that the firm needs to be more DIVERSE in its recruitment. We CAN'T continue cookie cutting the same candidates.'
Tags:diversity law, diversity laws, employment law, employment laws, employee, employees, employer, employers, equal opportunity, equal opportunities, inequality, prejudice, prejudices, prejudiced, discrimination, discriminations, discriminating, northerner, northerners, job applicant, job applicants, job candidate, job candidates
'When the new employment laws come in parenting is going to be a whole lot easier...'
'The Human Right Act bans any cruel of unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite out ENTIRE staff care policy!'
'Sexism in the workplace is unacceptable, as far as we're concerned you're just one of the chaps!'
"The law deals with child labor, not child management."
Tags:child labour, child labor, labour, labourer, labourers, laborer, laborers, labor, labors, labours, worker, workers, child exploitation, manager, managers, management, managements, middle manager, middle managers, employment law, employment laws, family business, family businesses, family company, family companies
"Paid leave? You're doing well to get paid for when you're here."
Liz Ripple All-Girl band - an equal opportunity employer.
Tags:girl band, girl bands, glass ceiling, glass ceilings, equal opportunity employer, equal opportunity employers, equal opportunity, equal opportunities, sexism, sexist, sexists, work place, workplace, working environment, working environments, discrimination, prejudice, prejudices, discriminations, gender equality, employment law, employment laws
'We're an equal opportunity employer, and Farley here is our 'token bear'.'
'Lookit that! Our minimum wage finally went up! Maybe we should start petitioning for vacation days!'
'I name this child 'Blumming Nuisance'.'
Director - Fair Employment Commission
Tags:employment opportunity, employment opportunities, equal opportunities, equal opportunity, cleaner, cleaners, exec, execs, executive, executives, promotion, promotions, demotion, demotions, employment law, employment laws, corporate ladder, business ladder, cleaning job, cleaning jobs, discrimination, prejudice, employment opportunities, hr, human resources
'Of course I can't ask your age during the interview, but see if you remember this song.'