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"My leaving Wilkins & Jennings was perfectly amicable. They felt that I should be fired, and I agreed."
Tags:firing, fired, sack, sacked, sacking, unemployed, unemployed, unemployment, employ, employment, employs, employment, hiring, hired, personnel, staff, amicable, optimistic, optimism, business, businesses, office, offices, spin, spinning, positive, positive spin, spins, job, jobs, fire, recruitment, recruiting, worker, workers, quit, quitting, quits
"We have very little need these days to employ a cudgel."
Tags:nomad, nomads, nomadic, modern, modernity, modern life, culture shock, wander, wanderer, hobo, hobos, homeless, interview, resume, cv, resumes, job, jobs, hob interview, work, working, job search, employ, employed, employment, employs, employer, employee, employers, employees, hr, h r, human resources, human resource, interview, interviews, interviewee, training, trainer, trainee, cudgel, cudgels, h r nightmare, unemployed, unemployment, job search, out of work, technology, old fashioned
"Here at Wiblington Social Services we value our staff and respect the need to treat them all as individuals. This for example is individual No. 126GH/89."
"You'll find it on page 46, paragraph 23, clause 18 of your contract under 'any other business'"
"This is a very impressive manifesto."
Tags:job, jobs, work, worker, working, employ, employed, employment, employee, employer, employs, unemployed, unemployment, job search, application, applied, apply, job application, resume, resumes, cv, cv, good cv, good resume, bad resume, bad cv, what not to do, not to do, hr, h r, human resources, human resource, personnel, manifesto, manifestos, politics, political, political manifesto, recruit, recruiting, recruitment, recruits, recruiter
'Pick a contract...any contract!'
"Don't worry we'll medicate you through the probationary period."
Tags:human, resources, human resources, hr, h r, h.r, employ, employed, employer, employee, employs, recruit, recruited, recruitment, recruiting, pill, pills, medical, medicine, medicines, pill bottle, pill bottles, tablet, tablets, prescription, prescribe, prescribes, prescribing, corporate, corporation, depressed, depression, depressing, depresses, critic, critical, critique, social critique, big business, capitalism, capitalist, capitalism, sacrifice, sacrifices, workplace, working, work, workplaces, worker, abuse of power, power
'I worry about our new hire when his previous employer paid for his moving expenses AND is paying half of his salary.'
'Have you any gathering experience?'
The Adventures of Morton - Personality Conflict
"That's not how we go about filling a C.E.O. position."
Tags:corporation, corporations, senior position, senior position, job qualification, job qualifications, qualify, qualifies, help wanted sign, help wanted signs, help wanted, boss, bosses, ceo, c.e.o., c.e.o.s employ, employs, employee, employees, hiring, hiring practice, hiring practices, job, jobs, job application, job applications
'With a few years of physical therapy, I think there's a good possibility that you could get a job as a paperweight!'
"I'm so glad you decided to participate in our Money for Employment program."
Tags:work, working, works, world of work, worker, employ, employment, employing, recruit, recruiting, recruiter, recruitment, employed, employs, word play, word, play on words, hire, hires, hired, you're hired, money, pay, paid, pay day, payday, business, business, exploit, exploitation, capital, capitalism, capitalist, critical, critic, critique, office, offices
"Welcome aboard. Here're your ID, your door code, and your antacid."
USA Products - Now Hiring!
In case you're fired.
In HR office: 'Yes, I'm very punctual. I always use commas and periods.'
'Perhaps, Mr. Hartwelder, you could arrange to have the company pay me in cash rather than stock options.'
A sense of apathy was beginning to creep into the company's employee-of-the-month program.
'This sounds promising... 'Help wanted: Live Bait'...'
'Mullens, give me a five-letter word that means 'terminated'.'
"Your answers sound rehearsed!"
"If your mom calls everytime we talk, perhaps this is not the right job for you."
Tags:millennial, millennials, mom, moms, mum, mums, call, calls, calling, excuse, excuses, excusing, manager, managers, management, managing, personnel, personnel department, personnel departments, human resources, human resources department, human resources departments, negotiate, negotiates, negotiation, mother, mothers, job, jobs, employment, employ, employing, employs
"Can you wangle me some parental leave?"
'I knew him when he was just the tea boy.'