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'We've found the problem...'
"Quick—bring the jaws of lunch!"
Tags:car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, driving, driver, drivers, transportation, engine trouble, engine problem, engine problems, smoke, smoking, breakdown, breakdowns, calling for help, roadside assistance, jaws of life, rescue, rescuer, rescuers, emergency, emergencies, emergency worker, emergency workers, lunch, lunches, meal, meals, mealtime, lunchtime, hungry, starving, hunger, food
'Mayday, mayday, we have lost control.'
"Let it run slow. I love to hear the gurgle and splash."
Tags:auto mechanic, auto mechanics, garage, garages, car mechanic, car mechanics, engine, engines, engine problem, engine problems, gas station, gas stations, petrol station petrol stations, petrol pump, petrol pumps, car repair, car repairs, car enthusiast, car enthusiasts, auto enthusiast, auto enthusiasts
'The car isn't making funny noises...you are.'
"...I see the problem now."
Tags:mechanic, mechanics, auto mechanic, auto mechanics, car mechanic, car mechanics, problem, problems, engine problem, engine problems, engine trouble, engine troubles, fix, fixes, fixing, fix-it, bottom line, bottom lines, profit, profits, profiting, profit motive, addition, math, math problem, math problems, repair, repairs, repairing, expense, expenses, expensive, handyman, bill, bills, billing
"Here's your problem."
Tags:clown, clowns, automotive mechanics, mechanics, garages, automotive mechanic, mechanic, garage, car shop, car shops, car, cars, engine problem, engine problems, car problem, car problems, handkerchief, handkerchiefs, entertainer, entertainers, children's entertainer, children's entertainers, magic trick, magic tricks
"Nothing serious - just some twenties stuck in your crankshaft."
Tags:auto, problems, money, armored car, armored cars, armoured car, armoured cars, transport vehicle, transport vehicles, engine trouble, engine troubles, engine problem, engine problems, garage, garages, mechanic, mechanics, auto mechanic, auto mechanics, first world problem, first world problems, rich person, rich people, car trouble, car troubles, mankoff
'When I finish looking here I'll give you a list of what I need.'
As meteor approaches couple with flat tire: 'At least nothing else can go wrong!'
"Lazarus was a whole different deal. This engine is just dead, dead, dead."
Tags:lazarus, the raising of lazarus, jesus, miracle, miracles, christ, gospel, gospels, car problem, car problems, engine problem, engine problems, resurrection, resurrections, mechanic, mechanics, bible story, bible stories, new testament, christianity, car engine, car engines, auto mechanic, auto mechanics, car mechanic, car mechanics
"I've narrowed the problem down to somewhere under this big flap I discovered."
Carpool of rocket scientists.
Tags:rocket scientist, rocket scientists, carpool, carpools, car-pool, car-pools, car pool, car pools, roadside assistance, car problem, car problems, engine problem, engine problems, breakdown, breakdowns, genius, geniuses, mechanic, mechanics, transferable skill, transferable skills, problem solving, problem solver, problem solvers
'What the...? Why does this &*%! car keep dying?'
"It was just humming right along - then began whistling."
"Hand me a number eight iron."
Tags:golfer, golfers, golf cart, golf carts, golf player, golf players, golf game, golf games, golf club, golf clubs, caddie, caddies, golf course, golf courses, golf buggy, golf buggies, iron, irons, club, clubs, hobby, engine problem, engine problems, car problem, car problems, breakdown, breakdowns, thelwell
"I am roadside assistance!!!"
"This tire's fine, too. I can't figure out where all that flapping is coming from..."
'Whatever you do, do not turn off your cell phone. It's the only thing powering the plane right now!'
"Yes indeed ma'am - soft going."
'Don't ever go to a car repair shop when you have a problem with your trunk.'
"Hmmm...Looks like I've got an oil leak."
"Do you repair immune systems?"
'Just give her a chance to cool down. It's probably hormonal.'
"Looks like my car won't start...I guess I'll have time for that beer after all!"