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'There! That should make sure they don't do it again.'
'. . . If you need immediate help with the floods I understand Mrs Miggins at No. 9 has a canoe!'
'Darling. The government flood assistance pack has arrived!'
'I never thought I would say this, but I'm even getting sick and tired of this winter.'
"In the absence of enough money to sort out the flood damage the goverment is helping us with the one resource it has in abundance...Hot Air!"
'On second thoughts maybe now isn't the best time to be looking at cutting flood defences...'
Death Valley - Twinned with Surrey.
'Typical. Now we're flooded with bloody politicians...'
'Oh darling, a bottle of water! It's just what I wanted.'
"Have you noticed how bad the weather's become since we started giving names to storms?"
"Wouldn't it be more effective to just plant more trees upstream?"
'This is just so clever! An inflatable flood barrier filled with hot air from Westminster!'
The Blame Game
"It's the Environment's Agency's new H.Q."
"There's talk of a merger with London Zoo."
'And we'd like some water - nothing fancy - rainwater will be fine.'
Planning for flooding - 'Well, we'll cross that bridge when come to it.'
Water Pollution and Dead Fish
'They laughed when I told them I wanted to be a pole-squatter. . . they're not laughing now.'
'Any sign of that flippin' plumber yet, Dear?'
'To be honest I'm getting really fed up with this weather.'
'I Keep Thinking it's Somerset.'
"What do you mean, 'the flooding doesn't look too bad in this photo'?... I'm standing on top of the number 47 bus!"
'I think this is where our fish pond was.'
'It's the Environment Agency. They're sending a leaflet on how to grow gills.'