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"You've just proven that your job doesn't exist."

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academic, academics, academia, job, jobs, existence, scientific proof, scientific proofs, scientist, scientists, intellectual, intellectuals, formula, formulas, equation, equations, lab, labs, genius, geniuses, expendable, dispensable, proof, proofs"Can you stop that crap? The bison are on the move."

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cave, caves, cave painting, cave paintings, cavemen, caveman, cave dweller, cave dwellers, hunt, hunting, hunter, hunters, prehistoric, paleolithic, palaeolithic, theory of relativity, mass–energy equivalence, physics, science, scientist, e=mc2, equation, equations, genius, geniuses, intelligence, intelligent, smart, nerd, nerds, survival, food, foods, impatient, impatience, prioritiesConcert goers form a line to see The Mathematics.

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math, mathematical, mathematic, mathematics, school, maths, scholastic, education, learning, schooling, technical, stem, engineering, algebra, algebraic, equation, equations, line, lines, graph, graphing, line graphs, concert, concerts, performances, tickets, salesBack to top

'I proved that when you start to count your blessings, you find that they're infinite.'

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mathematician, mathematicians, blessing, blessings, count your blessings, infinite, proof, prove, equation, equations, formula, formulas, formulae, scientist, scientists, sum, sums, complex, theory, theories, thesis, proofs, good luck, mathematics"Let's not politicize how screwed we are."

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scientist, scientists, scientific, discovery, discoveries, climate change, global warming, climate scientist, climate scientists, data, report, reports, bias, biases, biased, climate denier, climate deniers, climate denialism, equation, equations, mathematical equation, accusation, accusations, political stance, political stances, neutral, neutrality, honest, honesty, offend, offends, offending, offensive, too much coffee manAccountants just want to have fun...

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accountant, accountants, accounting, math, maths, math problem, maths problem, math problems, maths problems, mathematics, silly, silliness, goof around, goofs around, goofing around, conservative, conservatives, conservatism, lifestyle, lifestyles, straight-laced, sense of humor, senses of humor, humor, humour, sense of humour, senses of humour, serious, seriousness, equation, equations, goof off, goofs off, goofing off, mathematician, mathematicians, mathematicalBack to top

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'This isn't a BREAKTHROUGH, Colbert! This is a CIRCULAR REASONING! All you've done here is re-state our original objective.'

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Cambridge dons go hungry as they work out the perfect slice of pizza.

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pizza, pizzas, cambridge, don, professor, professors, working out, work out, worked out, works out, hunger, hungry, angle, angles, pie, pies, pie chart, pie graph, precise, precision, perfect, perfection, fussy, fussiness, equation, equations, math, maths, mathematics, mathematicBack to top

'Everyone's using your theorem, Pythagoras. I told you you should have patented it.'

Math Dreams

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math, maths, mathematics, mathematician, mathematicians, equation, equations, snore, snoring, zzz, problem solving, problem solver, problem solvers, dream, dreams, dreaming, dreamer, dreamers, sigma, capital sigma, algebra, scientist, scientists, genius, geniuses, theoretical physics, mechanics, tired, tiredness, exhausted, exhaustionBack to top

"But enough about this for a while, gentlemen. Let's talk about real estate."

Lady cleaning hypothesis off blackboard.

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mathematics, mathematician, math, maths, mathematics, science, scientist, scientists, formula, formulas, equation, equations, math, maths teacher, professor, professors, sum, sums, number, numbers, clean, cleaned, cleaning'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

"Be still! There's a fine line between art and science."

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artist, artists, artwork, artworks, scientist, scientists, fine line, portrait, portraits, artist model, artist models, painter, painters, painting, model, models, portraiture, formula, formulas, equation, equations, scientific breakthrough, scientific breakthroughs, muse, muses, inspiration, inspirations"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

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restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, maitre d', maitre d's, service, customer service, bill, bills, cheque, cheques, check, checks, payment, money, paying, complicated, math, maths, mathematics, arithmetic, algebra, equation, equations, customer, customers, patron, patrons, guest, guestsProgress: The amount of effort expended multiplied by the square of the ratio of scientists to managers: P=E X (S/M)2.

"Have you noticed that there's a preponderance of particularly dense cloud around this morning?"

"Pi what squared? Long John, you should be able to get this."

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myth, myths, legend, legends, pirate, pirates, long john silver, treasure island, literature, robert louis stevenson, book, books, fictional character, fictional characters, arr, math, maths, mathematics, area of a circle, pi, π, radius, area, circle, circles, equation, equations, formula, formulas, wordplay, word play, play on words, cliche, cliches, stereotype, stereotypes, stereotyping, education, school, schools, schooling, teacher, teachers, student, students, class, classes, classroom, classrooms, math teacher, math teachers, math class, math classes