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"You've just proven that your job doesn't exist."

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academic, academics, academia, job, jobs, existence, scientific proof, scientific proofs, scientist, scientists, intellectual, intellectuals, formula, formulas, equation, equations, lab, labs, genius, geniuses, expendable, dispensable, proof, proofs"Can you stop that crap? The bison are on the move."

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cave, caves, cave painting, cave paintings, cavemen, caveman, cave dweller, cave dwellers, hunt, hunting, hunter, hunters, prehistoric, paleolithic, palaeolithic, theory of relativity, mass–energy equivalence, physics, science, scientist, e=mc2, equation, equations, genius, geniuses, intelligence, intelligent, smart, nerd, nerds, survival, food, foods, impatient, impatience, prioritiesBack to top

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Concert goers form a line to see The Mathematics.

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math, mathematical, mathematic, mathematics, school, maths, scholastic, education, learning, schooling, technical, stem, engineering, algebra, algebraic, equation, equations, line, lines, graph, graphing, line graphs, concert, concerts, performances, tickets, salesBack to top

'I proved that when you start to count your blessings, you find that they're infinite.'

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mathematician, mathematicians, blessing, blessings, count your blessings, infinite, proof, prove, equation, equations, formula, formulas, formulae, scientist, scientists, sum, sums, complex, theory, theories, thesis, proofs, good luck, mathematics"Let's not politicize how screwed we are."

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scientist, scientists, scientific, discovery, discoveries, climate change, global warming, climate scientist, climate scientists, data, report, reports, bias, biases, biased, climate denier, climate deniers, climate denialism, equation, equations, mathematical equation, accusation, accusations, political stance, political stances, neutral, neutrality, honest, honesty, offend, offends, offending, offensive, too much coffee manAccountants just want to have fun...

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accountant, accountants, accounting, math, maths, math problem, maths problem, math problems, maths problems, mathematics, silly, silliness, goof around, goofs around, goofing around, conservative, conservatives, conservatism, lifestyle, lifestyles, straight-laced, sense of humor, senses of humor, humor, humour, sense of humour, senses of humour, serious, seriousness, equation, equations, goof off, goofs off, goofing off, mathematician, mathematicians, mathematical"Of course I get it. E, double hyphen, M, C and little 2 that's a little higher up."

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e=mc2, physics, physicist, physicists, science, scientist, scientists, famous scientist, famous scientists, famous physicist, famous physicists, teacher, teachers, professor, professors, get it, understand, understanding, don't understand, don't get it, equations, scientific equations, scientific equationsBack to top

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'This isn't a BREAKTHROUGH, Colbert! This is a CIRCULAR REASONING! All you've done here is re-state our original objective.'

Cambridge dons go hungry as they work out the perfect slice of pizza.

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pizza, pizzas, cambridge, don, professor, professors, working out, work out, worked out, works out, hunger, hungry, angle, angles, pie, pies, pie chart, pie graph, precise, precision, perfect, perfection, fussy, fussiness, equation, equations, math, maths, mathematics, mathematicBack to top

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'Everyone's using your theorem, Pythagoras. I told you you should have patented it.'

Math Dreams

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math, maths, mathematics, mathematician, mathematicians, equation, equations, snore, snoring, zzz, problem solving, problem solver, problem solvers, dream, dreams, dreaming, dreamer, dreamers, sigma, capital sigma, algebra, scientist, scientists, genius, geniuses, theoretical physics, mechanics, tired, tiredness, exhausted, exhaustion"But enough about this for a while, gentlemen. Let's talk about real estate."

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'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

Lady cleaning hypothesis off blackboard.

Tags:

mathematics, mathematician, math, maths, mathematics, science, scientist, scientists, formula, formulas, equation, equations, math, maths teacher, professor, professors, sum, sums, number, numbers, clean, cleaned, cleaning"Look, forget about all the formulas. Basically you want to increase your income, and decrease your paper trail."

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paper trail, paper trails, paper-trail, paper-trails, economics 101, economics, economic policy, economic policies, homework, schoolwork, school assignment, homework assignment, income, incomes, formula, formulas, equation, equations, finance, finances, financial, financials, homework help, role model, role models, dad, dads, role-model, role-models, bad, math homework, maths homework, unethical behaviour, unethical behavior, greed, greedy, greediness