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'I swear...if they don't let me out of here soon I'm going to go crazy!'
'So....how many hours were you practising half pass this morning?'
'You have endured a plastic bag, a motorbike, two cars, a group of cyclists and a small happy dog. You are certified 'bombproof'. Congratulations.'
'Hey everyone! Meet Paul. Paul is the latest member of our 'I like pooping in the automatic waterer' club!'
'Heyyyyy! Don't turn your nose up at us buddy! You may have superior bloodlines but you still poop in this field just like we do!'
'So how exactly did you get the nickname 'four scoops'?'
'Gather round everyone! Bob has a new rug and we're going to see how long it takes him to get out of it!'
'Citronella? Cold tea? Lavender? Smelling good Gloria! Repel those flies!'
'The bricks are loose! This changes everything!'
'Going travelling kevin?'
'Good morning boys and girls. Today's lesson is 'running'...sounds simple, but humans make it much more complicated!'
'Meadow fescue, meadow grass and perennial ryegrass! This is going to be the best party ever!'
'Before anyone says anything, clearly I did not dress myself this morning!'
'Sergeant Major here is going to help us overcome our fear issues...he's ex Army!'
'Cool poo stain tattoo Robert!'
'Hi Neil. Why do you have a carrot stuck on your head?'
'Judging by your latest wing mirror trophy I'm guessing that yet another car failed to slow down for you today.'
'Those stretching exercises you have been practicing are really working!'
'I'm in foal with Sir Roger this time.'
'I thought you were getting alternative therapy today...'
'Looking good Gloria! That half scoop diet is working wonders!'
Will sing for pony nuts.
'Welcome to the herd buddy! I just need to check your passport, there will be some obligatory jostling and squealing then we can carry on eating grass...'
'Why can't you just stand nose to tail like the rest of us do?'
'My human puts two scoops of chaff, one scoop of nuts, 1/4 scoop of feed balancer, a scoop of garlic, herbs, salt, mood calmer, electrolytes and more into my feed every day. But you just can't beat this stuff!'