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'How to stump a corporate lawyer.'
'Hold on a minute. Someone stole my pen.'
'Psst! Can I run your ethics committee?'
'Of course it's ethical! It's just business ethical instead of ethical ethical.'
"I hope you don't think that you have a monopoly on ethics."
'Will you be truthful with me please?'
"There's just so far you can go with ethics, and then the real world kicks in."
"We need to come up with some corporate values, get online and steal some from a different company."
'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'
'Astonishing! I just used a compass to follow the moral course of our company!'
"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."
Conscience. An angel and the devil standing on a person's shoulders. With the devil playing dirty, as you'd expect.
'80 of our business conduct is immoral or illegal. I want you to fix the remaining 20.'
'A moral dilemma? Tell me more, more. I adore more.'
"It's simple, really. Just figure out what the honorable thing to do is – and make it look like we did it."