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Critics In Love
Sheep are sheared and then shown a mirror.
There's nothing really wrong with you but I think a little surgery would make us both feel better.
'My best leadership skill is my innate sense of how much crap people can take.'
'Remember, the best things in life are free - for the first three months.'
"On some, my right brain says they're good art, but my left brain says there're bad investments. On others, my right brain says they're bad art, but my left brain says they're good investments."
Jeff hated performance reviews.
"Well appointed, a good child catchment area, and no sugar tax worries."
'How do you expect to be a good husband when you keep failing these magazine tests?'
I was rapidly rising to my level of incompetence, so I started screwing up just enough to maintain job security.