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"It's not just the church that needs evangelists. So does big oil."
Tags:church, churches, evangelist, evangelists, evangelical, evangelicals, big oil, oil company, oil companies, spokesman, spokesmen, spokesperson, spokespeople, praise, praises, praising, shill, shills, shilling, corporation, corporations, megacorporation, megacorporations, mega-corporation, mega-corporations, run interference, runs interference, running interference, minister, ministers, reverend, reverends, priest, priests, pastor, pastors
"Are these microphones, O Lord, on?"
Tags:televangelism, televangelist, televangelists, tv, television, t v, modern, modern life, modernity, modern world, camera, cameras, lights camera, minister, ministerial, pastor, pastors, church, churches, churchs, mic, mics, microphone, microphones, god, gods, lord, lords, christian, christianity, evangelical, evangelism, evangelical christian, american ministry, ministry, bible, biblical, language
"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"
Tags:junk drawer, apocalypse, dinosaur, dinosaurs, extinct, extinction, doomsayer, doomsayers, doom, doomed, apocalyptic, armageddon, end of the world, impending doom, proselytize, proselytizes, proselytizing, proselytise, proselytising, proselytising, bother, bothers, annoyance, annoyances, annoying, evangelical, evangelist, evangelists, nuisance, nuisances, interrupt, interrupts, interruption, interruptions
"A fantastic evangelist was on TV, and I sent him everything."
Tags:tv, television, tvs, televisions, religion, religions, evangelist, evangelism, evangelical, evangelists, tv evangelist, husband, wife, marriage, multi level marketing, multi-level marketing, mlm, pyramid, pyramid scheme, advertising, advertisement, televangelism, televangelists, televangelist, megachurch, megachurches, scam, scamming, scammed, con, conned, prosperity gospel, con, cons, con artist, con artists
First Unified Church of Anti-Clinton
Tags:government, governments, politics, politician, politicians, bill, clinton, republican, republicans, gop, religious, religion, religions, church, freedom of religion, evangelical, christian, christians, christianity, right wing, thoughts and prayers, president, presidents, election, elections, voting, voter, voters
"I'm leaving you and the kids to join the Promise Keepers."
Tags:evangelical, evangelicals, irony, ironic, fatherhood, families, family, christian, christians, bible, bibles, husband, husbands, father, fathers, dad, dads, religion, religions, radical, radicals, jesus, jesus christ, christ, marriage, marriages, conservative, conservatives, family values, divorce, divorced, divorcing
"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."
Tags:centimeters, centimetre, metric system, metric unit, imperial unit, imperial system, measurement, measurements, conversion, conversions, converting, convert, converts, converted, monk, monks, friar, friars, priest, priests, evangelical, evangelicals, evangelicalism, atheist, atheists, religious belief, religious beliefs
"O.K., the first rule of Bible Club is: always talk about Bible Club."
Tags:bible, bibles, bible study, bible studies, bible study group, bible study groups, bible group, bible groups, bible club, bible clubs, book club, book clubs, religion, religious, evangelical, evangelicals, evangelicalism, evangelism, christianity, spreading the word, spreading the word of god, preaching, club, clubs, rule, rules, movie, movies, film, films, movie quote, movie quotes, film quote, film quotes
'I just can't believe I'm related to them.'
'Just like the website, lots of visitors, few conversions.'
"Sorry for knocking on your door - I just wanted to know if you had a few minutes for me to scare you."
'Is this seat saved?' Fundamentalism Gone Awry.
"Perhaps I should have called this an Ice Cream Social."
"My congregation isn't taking my clown ministry very seriously..."
"I meant 'go and make disciples' after the sermon, Bob."
Tags:pastor, pastors, church leader, church leaders, priest, priests, evangelical, evangelicals, evangelical christian, evangelical christians, skip church, skips church, skipping church, minister, ministers, vicar, vicars, congregation, congregations, worship, worships, worshiping, worshipping, worshiper, worshipers, jump the gun, jumps the gun, jumping the gun
"That's the preacher's dog."
"Do you have a minute for a problem whose solution has eluded humanity since the dawn of civilization?"
Tags:harass, harassing, hopeless, hopelessness, harassed, intrude, intruding, intrusion, pointless, pointlessness, stopped in the street, questionnaire, questionnaires, evangelist, evangelists, evangelical, charity worker, charity workers, the big questions, lifes mysteries, life's mysteries, chugging, chugger, chuggers, fundraising, fundraiser, fundraisers
"Just because the preacher is from Alabama doesn't mean he's speaking in tongues."
Tags:preacher, preachers, pastor, pastors, evangelical, evangelicals, church, mass, congregation, congregations, speak in tongues, speaking in tongues, reverend, reverends, services, church service, alabama, alabama accent, alabama accents, southern accent, southern accents, hard-to-understand, difficult to understand, accent, accents, strong accent, strong accents, heavy accent, heavy accents, assumption, assumptions, assume, assumes
"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"
"Here come those 7th Day Add-ventists. Them them we're 8-theists, and we don't believe in higher powers."
'Welcome to Heaven - no proselytizing.'
Tags:heaven, afterlife, after life, after-life, religion, life after death, hereafter, gates of heaven, heavens gate, heaven's gate, heaven's gates, heavens gates, proselytizing, proselytize, proselytising, proselytise, evangelism, evangelical, christian, christianity, unexpected surprise, ironic surprise, conversion, conversions, nuisance caller, nuisance callers, nuisance calling