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"The evil masterminds tried everything, then one of them offered me a Cosmo."
Advantages of being bald # 3 - Evil villain movie parts.
"In an effort to be more transparent, I've grown back my evil goatee."
The World's Most Evil Mastermind (and a man sitting in a chair).
'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'
'Okay, one time, but just remember who the evil twin in this family really is.'