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"I broke up with another one. Do you want her picture too?"
Tags:couple, couples, bad relationship, bad relationships, break up, break ups, break-up, break-ups, split up, split-up, splitting up, separation, separating, separations, photograph, photographs, photo, photos, collection, collections, ex, exes, old photo, old photos, old picture, old pictures, ex girlfriend, ex girlfriends, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriends, office desk, office desks
"Hit me again - I'm trying to remember a woman."
"Louise, there's a gentleman here who says that you and he were in love in 1962 but you drifted apet and now he's come back in the hope that we might order a set of encyclopedias."
"OMG, here comes my old lover."
Tags:omg, lover, lovers, old lover, old lovers, ex-lover, ex-lovers, ex lover, ex lovers, ex-boyfriends, ex boyfriend, ex boyfriends, ex girlfriend, ex girlfriends, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriends, pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, awkward situation, awkward situations, socially awkward, social awkwardness
"I've been with a lot of gentle woodland creatures who turned out to be real sickies."
"Of all the ovens in all the kitchens, she walks into mine."
"Would you mind waiting in the hall for a bit while I clean up the remnants of my last relationship?"
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, unhealthy relationship, unhealthy relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, dating, date, dates, breakup, breakups, breaking up, break up, break ups, break-up, break-ups, remnants, remains, leftovers, clean, cleaning, clean-up, cleaning up, housecleaning, previous relationship, previous relationships, ex, exes, ex-wife, ex-wives, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriends, awkward, waiting, creepy, dead body, dead bodies, corpse, corpses, death, dead, killer, killers, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, homicide, criminal, criminals, mental health, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour
". . . Remember your old boyfriend from Pennsylvania?"
Tags:amish, amish community, amish communities, word play, wordplay, word-play, word game, word-game, word-games, word games, ex-boyfriends, ex boyfriend, ex boyfriends, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriends, ex girlfriend, ex girlfriends, stalker, stalking, stalk, stalked, harassment, restraining order, restraining orders
"It's not you—it's natural selection."
Tags:natural selection, breakup, breakups, split up, splits up, splitting up, breaking up, break up, break ups, deer, buck, bucks, evolution, evolve, evolves, evolving, natural world, survival of the fittest, ex, exes, ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriends, heartbreak, heartbroken, it's not you, breakup speech, breakup speeches, cliche, cliches, cliched, hunter, hunters, hunting, deer hunter, deer hunters, deer hunting, excuse, excuses, lame excuse, lame excuses
"I'm not a vindictive person, Charles. When your chickens do come home to roost I hope they're free range chickens."
Tags:argument, arguments, fight, fights, fighting, vindictive, vindictiveness, chickens come home to roost, chicken, chickens, free range, wish you the best, wishing the best, breakup, breakups, breaking up, separating, separate, separates, divorce, divorces, divorcing, ex, exes, ex-partner, ex-partner, ex-wife, ex-wives, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriends, ex-husband, ex-boyfriends, vengeful, unforgiving
"I can't find any serenity in contemplation because I keep thinking of this one girl."
Tags:long, longs, longing, nostalgia, nostalgic, girl, girls, girlfriends, preoccupied, preoccupation, preoccupations, ex, exes, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriends, regret, regrets, sorrow, sorrows, contemplate, contemplates, contemplating, contemplation, serenity, serene, obtrusive thought, obtrusive thoughts, mind, minds, peace, peaceful, worry, worries, anxiety, anxieties, anxious, zen, quite mind, unquiet
"Mostly, I just miss his hand."
Tags:dummy, dummies, ventriloquist, ventriloquists, ventriloquism, breakup, breakups, breaking up, break-up, breaks up, split up, splits up, splitting up, bitter, bitterness, lonely, loneliness, sad, sadness, miss, misses, missing, ex, exes, ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriends, bartender, bartenders, barkeeper, barkeepers, barkeep
"Oh look. There's room for your name right here."
"She won't stop bringing up her ex."
Tags:psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, shrink, shrinks, therapist, therapists, therapy, marriage counseling, marriage counselling, marriage counsellor, marriage counsellors, marriage counselor, marriage counselors, marriage, marriages, ex-husband, ex-wife, ex-wives, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, emotional baggage
"I call him my 'Old flame' because he really burns me up!"
"Thanks! My ex got it for me."
Tags:tree, trees, reynolds unwrapped, lumberjack, lumberjacks, forest, forests, wood, woods, bark, tree marking, tree markings, tattoo, tattoos, skin art, ex-boyfriends, ex, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriends, carving, barks, vandalism, breakup, break yos, break up, break ups
"It wouldn't be so bad living here if I would stop running into my ex all the time."
"Oh, Lord! Not on our first date!"
Tags:invisible man, invisibility, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, first date, first dates, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, vengeance, break up, beak ups, breakup, breakups, revenge, prank, pranks, prankster, pranksters, passing wind, farts, farted, sci fi, science fiction, sci-fi, science-fiction
'Dude. That looks exactly like Randy's Ex. Let's buy it and hang it in his bedroom.'
Tags:grizzly, grizzlies, grizzly bear, grizzly bears, bear, bears, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, ex-wife, ex-wives, ex-husband, hunting trophy, hunting trophies, taxidermy, taxidermist, taxidermists, prank, pranks, prankster, pranksters, practical joke, practical jokes, bear head, bear heads
'What we'll do for love is nothing compared to what we'll do for aggravation.'
'Believe me, Irving, two bright, aware, globally active women who just met for the first time have lots to talk about besides you!'
"Damn it, Gareth, we agreed - no ex-girlfriends invited"
"I'm sorry, but Pauline's sleeping now. With me! And she's mine—all mine! You hapless 3 A.M. ex!"
Tags:ex-boyfriends, ex boyfriend, ex boyfriends, ex girlfriend, ex girlfriends, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriends, ex husband, ex husbands, ex-husband, ex-wife, ex-wives, ex wife, ex wives, divorce, divorces, divorcing, breakup, breakups, break up, break ups, breaking up, break-up, break-ups, breaking-up, emotional baggage, baggage, possessive, possessiveness, jealous, jealousy, jealousies, relationship breakdown, relationship breakdowns, marital breakdown, marital breakdowns
"I know we're not dating anymore, but I thought you should know I have termites."
Tags:date, dates, dating, stds, sexually transmitted diseases, girlfriends, ex, exes, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriends, sti, stis, sexually transmitted infections, notify, notifies, notifying, former partner, former partners, puppet, puppets, contagious, test, tests, testing, tested, illness, illnesses, disease, diseases, termite, termites, wooden, wood