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"My first husband was Roland, 'The Human Cannonball', .... and then one day he didn't go ballistic."
"Look, will you forget about them? They're in the past. The important thing is what I feel now – about you!"
Tags:relationship, relationships, date, dating, dates, marriage, marriages, second marriage, second marriages, third marriage, third marriages, ex, exes, ex boyfriend, ex boyfriends, ex partner, ex partners, ex husband, ex husbands, girlfriends, boyfriend, boyfriends, past, forget, forget the past, obsessed with the past
"It's through our attorneys, but at least we're talking."
"That my late husband."
Tags:couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, marriages, long term relationship, long term relationship, long-term relationships, bad relationship, bad relationships, marital fight, marital fights, domestic, domestics, domestic argument, domestic arguments, spousal dispute, spousal disputes, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, dead husband, dead husbands, late husband, late-husband, late husbands, late-husbands, ex, exes, ex husband
"Your father was a jackass."
Tags:mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, child, children, kid, kids, childhood, donkey, donkeys, jackass, jackasses, divorce, divorced, separated, separate, play on words, word play, relationship, relationships, ex, exes, animal, animals, family, families, marriage, married, ex husband, ex husbands, ex wife, ex wives
"I'm going out for a quickie divorce -- need anything?"
Tags:divorce, divorcing, divorced, separate, separated, separation, separating, filing for divorce, file for divorce, divorce lawyer, divorce lawyers, ex, ex husband, ex wife, ex wives, ex husbands, husband, wife, husbands, wives, couple, couples, marriage, married, marry, relationship, relationships, quick divorce, fast divorce, cooperate, cooperation, agreement, all parties agree, spouse, spouses, casual, big deal
"I don't see what you see in him."
"It's getting so hard to meet men now, that I actually called my ex-husband for a date...but hi WIFE wouldn't let him go out!"
"There goes my ex-husband and his Mid-Life crisis!"
"I swear, the only decent men around here are either married...or gay...or they're one of my ex-husbands!"
"I caught him cheating with his young secretary. I suppose I should have suspected something...that was how I got him away from his first wife!"
'My ex husband's last heart attack.'
"My ex was very faithful....he waited until after the reception to cheat on me!"
Tags:cheating spouse, cheat, cheats, cheater, cheaters, husband, husbands, groom, grooms, bride, brides, bridegroom, bridegrooms, wedding day, wedding days, wedding reception, wedding receptions, wedding breakfast, wedding breakfasts, affair, affairs, adulterer, adulterers, divorcee, divorcees, divorce, divorces, ex, ex-husband, ex husband, ex husbands
'She got divorced again.'
Pay and display - have you paid?
"Mmm, this casserole is lovely, Marge! Which ex-husbands did you make it from, anyway?"
'My ex-wife and I have only one thing in common. We both want my money.'
'Oh, them...they're just my x husands.'
'My former husband is remarrying and I'm looking for something in a sympathy card for his new wife.'
"My ex husband could always make me laugh. Especially when he brought home his paycheck."
"We can't get those wasted years back, Mrs. Kerner. The best we can hope to accomplish is to make his remaining years miserable."
"Three. How many times you been married?"
Tags:recycle, recycles, recycling, environmentalist, environmentalists, recycling symbol, recycling symbols, marriage, marriages, serial monogamist, serial monogamists, divorce, divorces, divorcee, divorcees, ex-wife, ex-wives, ex-husband, ex wife, ex wives, ex husband, ex husbands, commitment issue, commitment issues, relationship failures, marital failure, marital failures, failed marriage, failed marriages
"You could care less? Don't you mean you couldn't care less? That kind of crummy English is why I'm leaving."
"I'm sorry, but Pauline's sleeping now. With me! And she's mine—all mine! You hapless 3 A.M. ex!"
Tags:ex-boyfriends, ex boyfriend, ex boyfriends, ex girlfriend, ex girlfriends, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriends, ex husband, ex husbands, ex-husband, ex-wife, ex-wives, ex wife, ex wives, divorce, divorces, divorcing, breakup, breakups, break up, break ups, breaking up, break-up, break-ups, breaking-up, emotional baggage, baggage, possessive, possessiveness, jealous, jealousy, jealousies, relationship breakdown, relationship breakdowns, marital breakdown, marital breakdowns