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"My first husband was Roland, 'The Human Cannonball', .... and then one day he didn't go ballistic."
"Ted Burton! How are you? How's my ex-wife? My kids? My dog?"
Tags:ex-wife, ex wife, ex-wives, ex wives, divorce, divorces, divorcing, marital breakdown, marital breakdowns, modern family, modern families, family life, family-life, stepdad, stepdads, step-dad, step-dads, step dad, step dads, acquaintance, friendly, friendliness, married life, amicable divorce, amicable divorces, step family, step families, step-family, step-families
"It's through our attorneys, but at least we're talking."
"Mordecai '3 Exes' Brown"
"Your father was a jackass."
Tags:mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, child, children, kid, kids, childhood, donkey, donkeys, jackass, jackasses, divorce, divorced, separated, separate, play on words, word play, relationship, relationships, ex, exes, animal, animals, family, families, marriage, married, ex husband, ex husbands, ex wife, ex wives
"I'm going out for a quickie divorce -- need anything?"
Tags:divorce, divorcing, divorced, separate, separated, separation, separating, filing for divorce, file for divorce, divorce lawyer, divorce lawyers, ex, ex husband, ex wife, ex wives, ex husbands, husband, wife, husbands, wives, couple, couples, marriage, married, marry, relationship, relationships, quick divorce, fast divorce, cooperate, cooperation, agreement, all parties agree, spouse, spouses, casual, big deal
"I don't see what you see in him."
"There goes my ex-husband and his Mid-Life crisis!"
"It's getting so hard to meet men now, that I actually called my ex-husband for a date...but hi WIFE wouldn't let him go out!"
"I'm hoping to buy back everything I lost in the divorce at the garage sale she's having."
"I have two children from a previous Las Vegas off-site meeting."
Tags:affair, affairs, cheat, cheater, cheaters, infidelity, two timer, two timers, two timing, love affair, adulterers, second marriage, second marriages, previous marriage, previous marriages, ex wife, ex wives, convention, conventions, business meeting, business meetings, las vegas, kid, kids, child, business convention, business conventions, off site meeting, off-site meetings, frequent flyer, frequent flyers
'My ex-wife and I have only one thing in common. We both want my money.'
'Oh, them...they're just my x husands.'
'My former husband is remarrying and I'm looking for something in a sympathy card for his new wife.'
"I blame government,labor, business and my ex-wife."
"I don't believe it. That's my ex-wife."
Tags:ex, exes, ex-wife, ex wife, ex-wives, ex wives, butterfly, butterflies, caterpillar, caterpillars, divorce, divorces, husband and wife, husbands and wives, moved on, moving on, regret, regretting, regretful, bad relationship, bad relationships, unhappy relationship, unhappy relationships, break up, breaking up, break-up, breaking-up, split up, splitting up, split-up, splitting-up, chrysalis, life cycle, life cycles, recent divorce, recently divorced, cocoon, cocoons
'Why do I get the feeling my divorce is final?' (Motorbike has been cut in half).
"My ex husband could always make me laugh. Especially when he brought home his paycheck."
"I never take no for an answer. As a result, I've been married 27 times."
Tags:serial monogamist, serial monogamists, divorce, divorces, ex-wife, ex-wives, ex wife, ex wives, determination, determined, stubborn, stubbornness, boss, bosses, marital problem, marital problems, marriage problem, marriage problems, personal philosophy, personal philosophies, slogan, slogans, management style, management styles
That's the worst part of divorce, splitting up the property.
Lifting weights at the health club.
'Don't feel bad - some guys lose everything.'
"We can't get those wasted years back, Mrs. Kerner. The best we can hope to accomplish is to make his remaining years miserable."
'Don't let it eat away at you. Your ex wasn't that smart. She said you'd rot in Hell. You, my friend, are not rotting.'
'Ferguson takes pride in naming hurricanes after his ex-wives.'