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"You have a large, yellow mass in your albumen, but I'm told that's normal."
"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"
"Try this – I just bought a hundred shares."
Tags:doctor, doctors, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, prescribing, big pharma, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical company, pharmaceutical companies, pharmaceutical lobby, pharmaceutical lobbies, corruption, corrupt, patient, patients, doctors office, doctors offices, exam room, exam rooms, shares, bought shares, shareholder, shareholders, vested interest, vested interests
"Worse than a cold. It's a common cold."
"I'm taking you off sugar, carbs, red meat, poultry, dairy, non-dairy and anything served in a bucket."
"I had been moving money around all day, then I started shifting some blame."
Tags:doctor, doctors, patient, patients, bad back, bad backs, exam room, exam rooms, medical exam, medical exams, metaphor, metaphors, metaphorical, heavy lifting, manual handling, lift, lifting, shifting, moving, moving money around, shifting the blame, shift the blame, blame, pass the buck, manual labour, manual labor, hard work, pun, puns, wordplay
"Any tightness or difficulty breathing."
Tags:doctor, doctors, patient, patients, exam room, exam rooms, medical exam, medical exams, question, questions, medical question, medical questions, tick box question, tick box questions, stupid question, stupid questions, snake, snakes, boa constrictor, boa constrictors, crushed, crushing, tightness, difficulty breathing, snake attack, snake attacks
"My 'check gallbladder ' light came on."
"I'd like to donate my body to comedy."
"I can see it from here."
Tags:dermatologist, dermatology, dermatologists, skin rashes, rashes, contagion, contagions, infection, infections, infectious, doctor, doctors, skin specialist, skin specialists, skin rash, rash, contagious, catching, virulent, scaly, gross, skin falling off, sloughing, hives, diagnosis, exam room, exam, skin condition
"Hmm, so the foot guy sent you here. I'm strictly a knee-and-upper-shin guy – you're going to have to see a lower-shin-upper-ankle guy."
"So is flesh-eating bacteria the good kind of bacteria or the bad kind?"
"You're going to require a hip hop replacement."
'Your numbers are continuing to slide, Santa. You need to be active more than one day a year.'
Tags:santa claus, christmas, christmastime, x-mas, x mas, xmas, holidays, doctors, physicians, health, fitness, healthcare, exam room, lab work, lab numbers, health screenings, biometric screenings, blood work, bloodwork, exercise, sedentary lifestyles, medical advice, prognosis, diagnosis, sedentary lifestyle
Angela would go on to start a new meme sub-genre called 'meme-ograms.'
Tags:memes, internet images, internet memes, social media, mammograms, mammogram, women's health, breast exams, breast examinations, smartphones, cell phones, telecommunications, medical exams, exam room, patients, doctors, physicians, radiology, radiologists, diagnostic imaging, medical imaging, x-rays, ct scans, cat scans, mri, x rays
Scared husband needs to have scans done in children's exam room.
"Crispy, golden brown deliciousness - classic signs of deep fried chicken pox."
"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."
Tags:eye exams, ophthalmology, ophthalmologists, eye doctors, exam room, eye chart, eye exam chart, vision test, vision care, medical care, health care, healthcare, youth, generations, fads, social media, emojis, texting, smartphones, computers, technology, telecommunications, trends, language, emoticon
'It came in just in time for Valentine's Day.'
'Life was moving along at a nice, steady pace, then I hit middle age and my life hot-flashed before my eyes!'
Tags:menopause, ob gyn, ob-gyn, gynecology, gynecologists, gynaecologist, gynaecologists, gynaecology, middle age, middle aged, doctors, patients, physicians, exam room, hot flashes, middle age, health, fitness, women's health, reproduction health, reproductive health, hot flushes, symptom, symptoms
'It's nothing to be concerned about - until his first tooth comes in he'll be connected to devices via bluegum.'
"Mind if I pop the hood."
'I'm going to give you an herbal injection and prescribe lots of stuffing.' 'Something just doesn't feel right here.'
Tags:thanksgiving, turkey, turkeys, food, eating, holiday, holidays, seasonal, celebrations, recipe, recipes, doctor, doctor's office, medical exam, prescriptions, healthcare, medical, medicine, physician, physicians, exam room, patient, patients, america, animal, animals, bird, birds, medical exam, prescription, prescribe, inject, injection, death
'Well, I don't know how to break the bad news to you, Mr. Jenson, but ...'
Tags:medical, medicine, doctor, doctors office, office exam, exam room, health, healthcare, death, dead, angel, angels, physician, physicians, patient, patients, patient care, tests, test results, lab work, diagnostic, diagnostics, diagnostic tests, death, dying, die, dead, heaven, religion, news, bad news, results, bad results, passed away
"Oh no, that's just his breath-hold initiation signal. It tells me he's ready, plus it makes him feel better."