Search by Search ID or Tag or use the Advanced Search
Organ Exchange Bank
December 26th . . . The Returns
Tags:christmas, xmas, noel, yule, santa claus, santa, elf, father christmas, st. nick, st. nicholas, elves, north pole, december, december 26th, december 26, the day after christmas, boxing day, return, returns, returning, exchange, exchanges, unwanted gifts, unwanted presents, gift, gifts, present, presents, shopping, christmas chopping, store, stores, shop, shops, sack, sacks, consumerism, santa's helper, santa's helpers
"Tell your grandfather how much you like his present and ask him if he still has the receipt."
Tags:return, returns, gift, gifts, present, presents, christmas, x-mas, xmas, unwanted, unwanted gift, unwanted gifts, receipt, receipts, returns department, returns departments, self-interest, self-interested, phone, phones, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, mobile, mobiles, smartphone, smartphones, smart phone, smart phones, exchange, exchanges, exchanging, birthday, birthdays, thankful, grateful, inappropriate, ask permission, asking permission, limited screen time, limiting screen time
"Who needs men when there's chocolate."
Tags:women, woman, chocolate, chocolates, food, foods, men.man, substitute, substituting, substitution, substitutions, substituted, replace, replacing, replaces, replaced, awkward, feminist, independent woman, independent women, independent, independence, need, needs, needing, needed, replacement, replacements, exchange, exchanges, exchanged, exchanging
"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"
Tags:child, children, lunch, lunches, lunchbox, lunchboxes, lunchtime, lunchtime, lunch box, lunch boxes, sandwich, sandwiches, market, markets, blackboard, blackboards, exchange, exchanges, exchanging, swap, swaps, swapping, dislike, dislikes, switch, switches, switching, black market, black markets, money, earn, earns, earning
"If they fit, we can return them."
Tags:christmas, xmas, noel, yule, christmas day, gift, gifts, present, presents, opening gifts, opening presents, fashion, clothes, clothing, men's clothing, men's clothes, menswear, pants, trousers, baggy, loose fitting, style, trend, trends, fad, fads, trendy, in-style, boys clothes, boys clothing, boy, boys, teen, teens, teenager, fit, ill-fitting, return, returning, returns, exchange, exchanges, exchanging, refund, refunding, refunds, retail, consumerism
"Gentlemen, this has materially changed the way we grease palms."
Tags:board, board meeting, board meetings, men, gentlemen, corporate, corporation, corporations, materially, considerable, considerably, significant, significance, significantly, grease palms, grease someone's palm, offer, offers, exchange, exchanges, favour, favor, favours, favors, bribe, bribes, bribing, corrupt, fraud, fraudsters, change, changes, changed, changing
'Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Timeout!!'
Tags:snowman, snowmen, basketball, basketballs, head, heads, ball, lost head, swapped head, lost heads, timeout, time out, swap, swaps, swapped, swapping, replace, replaces, replacement, replacements, replacing, exchange, exchanges, exchanged, trade, trades, traded, trading, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'You show me how to pass that ridiculous company loyalty test, and I'll show you how to always land on your feet!'
'Sir, according to the latest Security and Exchange Commission rules, you can't delegate your identity.'
"Nothing ventured, nothing exchanged."
'Buy... sell... buy... sell... buy...'
Christmas gift exchange - bah humbug
'Quid pro quo? It means the f*** is. we f*** them.'
"Tonight, the part of the sea bass will be played by the chicken."
"Can I return this for something that will make me feel more FABULOUS?"
"I realize that each day is a gift. Now it's just a matter of figuring out how to exchange fourteen thousand six hundred of them."
Tags:gift, gifts, grateful, gratitude, gratefulness, life, cynic, cynics, cynical, dark humor, dark humour, exchange, exchanges, exchanging gifts, unwanted, present, presents, middle age, middle aged, midlife crisis, forty, forties, fortieth birthday, 40th birthday, age, birthday, birthdays, waste, wastes, wasted
"Can I exchange my air guitar for a real one?"
'Whatever's the most durable. This is the fifth year it's been regifted.'
"Let me just ask your on question, madam—have you been doing unto the product as you would have the product do unto you?"
Tags:customer service, service, service counter, service counters, return, returns, complaint, complaints, complaining, returning, customer, customers, product, products, retail, consumerism, golden rule, questioning, suspicious, damaged, broken, refund, refunds, refunding, exchange, exchanges, exchanging, store, stores, shop, shops, department store, department stores
"Thanks for doing this essential work. In exchange we'll keep giving you no salary, no pension, no healthcare and no respect. Sounds good?"
'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'
Pet returning its food
"There—now I've taught you everything I know about splitting rocks."
Tags:cave, caveman, prehistory, prehistoric, pre historic, pre-historic, pre-history, cavemen, neanderthal, neanderthals, homo sapien, homo sapiens, homo erectus, early man, early men, stone age, stone-age, stone ages, stone-ages, dark age, dark-age, iron age, iron ages, bronze age, bronze ages, teaching, teach, teacher, taught, everything i know, passing on, knowledge, knowledge exchange, exchanges, exchanging, rock, rocks, boulder, boulders, splitting, splitting rocks, generation, generational, generations, education, educating
It's all in how you ask ("Want some coffee?")