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'We've got all the figures, we just haven't decided what order to put them in!'
'The treasury decided to use bob geldof's speechwriter this year!'
"Hello. You have reached the Palace. If you wish to speak to the King, press '1' now. If you wish to speak to the Queen, press '2' now. If you wish to speak to the Chancellor of the Exchequer, press '3' now. And if you wish to speak to the Minister of Cul
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'Not to worry, Darling, we're only HALF cut!'
'You did yes say a budgie was coming on!'
"...here you go!"
'...and now for the bad news.'
Larry, Downing Street cat: 'I'm in next door's garden. I heard the chancellor say it was his job to clear up the mess.'
'Perhaps we do need a plan 'B'.'
'Oh yes, cancel Christmas.'
Alan Johnson: 'Remind me again, how many millions in a billion?'
'A politician is like a vegetarian who promises you to make ends meat.'
Budget: No increase in duty on beer and fags.
"We'll be able to gauge the extent of the cuts by the speed Her Majesty comes hurling down past this window."
Oh...did I say I'd catch you? It's so hard to trust the word of politicians these days, I find!
'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'
Will you stop doing that?