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'No Sir, it's not a prescription for your 'weird, dizzy turns where everything slows down and you have to go faster to compensate'.'
"There's good crazy, Your Honor, and then there's bad crazy."
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, legal system, justice system, law, laws, legal, judge, judges, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, defence, defense, defendant, defendants, client, clients, crazy, good crazy, bad crazy, excuses, excuses
"C'mon. I've been saving for a rainy day.''
"I know I promised to be faithful but I hadn't counted on the 'El Nino' effect."
Tags:weather, weather pattern, weather patterns, relationship, relationships, ocean, oceans, marriage, married, husband, husbands, el nino, el niño southern oscillation, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, cheat, cheater, cheaters, couple, couples, excuse, excuses, men, man, woman, women, adulterer, adulterers
"This is Mrs. Burlington Wells. One of my begonias went off by accident and killed Mr. Goodrich."
Tags:begonia, begonias, flower, flowers, flower pot, flower pots, accident, accidents, accidental, murder, murders, murdering, killing, killings, murder weapon, murder weapons, excuse, excuses, alibi, alibis, accidental death, accidental deaths, manslaughter, likely story, likely stories, murderess, murderesses, fall, falls, falling, heavy object, heavy objects
"The past, Your Honor, is a foreign country, and we did things differently there."
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, courthouse, courthouses, law, laws, law and order, lawyer, lawyers, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, judge, judges, the past, excuse, excuses, criminal, criminals, crimes, trial, on trial, history, past mistakes, mistake, mistakes, regret, regrets, remorse
"I know doesn't look like I'm doing anything, but I'm like a cat ready to pounce."
Tags:lazy, laziness, shirk, shirking, shirker, shirkers, salcking, slacker, slackers, prepared, preparedness, ready, wait, waiting, employee, employees, bad employee, bad employees, excuse, excuses, offices, office job, office jobs, making excuses, office worker, office workers, bad excuse, bad excuses
Tags:medical bracelet, medical bracelets, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, medical id bracelet, medical id bracelets, medical alert, medical alerts, medical advice, alert, alerts, warning, warning, first world problems, bug bear, bug bears, complain, complaining, excuse, excuses, bad excuse, bad excuses
"No cause for alarm, folks. I'm Morey Kranshaw, from down the block, and I'm having an out-of-body experience."
Tags:neighbour, neighbours, neighbor, neighbors, bad neighbour, bad neighbours, bad neighbor, bad neighbors, intrude, intruding, intrusion, intrusions, surprise, surprises, unexpected, out of body experience, out of body experiences, sleepwalk, sleepwalking, sleepwalker, sleepwalkers, sleep walk, sleep walking, sleep walker, sleep walkers, astral projection, astral projections, excuse, excuses, making excuses, obe, obes, autoscopy, autoscopies, doppelganger, doppelgangerd, pass the blame, passing the blame, pass the buck, passing the buck
"Half empty because of congressional inaction, and half full because of the tireless efforts of the President."
Tags:government, bureaucracy, press secretary, press secretaries, excuse, excuses, blameless, excuse, excuses, administration, administration spokesman, administration spokesmen, congressional inaction, spin, spins, spin room, spin rooms, talking point, talking points, political talking point, political talking points, obfuscate, obfuscates, obfuscation, mankoff
"Sorry I'm late. I got caught up at home being happy."
"He's running late this morning. He unexpectedly snapped out of denial."
Tags:denial, in denial, late for work, morning, mornings, monday, mondays, monday morning, monday mornings, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, middle age, middle aged, getting old, getting older, ageing, crisis, existential crisis, running late, excuse, excuses, bad excuse, bad excuses, sick day, sick days, sick leave, sickie, sickies, the inevitability of death
'Sun got in my eyes? Wind got hold of it? Struggling with 'Personal issues'?..'
Tags:baseball, base ball, catcher, catch, caught, pitch, pitcher, pitchers, catchers, bat, batsman, batsmen, team, teams, game, games, excuses, excuse, get out of it, reasons, reason, lie, lied, lies, liar, lying, lier, come up with reason, reasoning, thought, think, thoughts, thinking, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."
Tags:sleeping with the fishes, cement shoes, mob, mafia, gang, gangs, gangster, gangsters, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, killer, killers, court, courtroom, courtrooms, court case, court cases, judge, judges, excuse, excuses, bad excuse, bad excuses, criminal, law, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, barrister, barristers, solicitor, solicitors, drowning, drowned, water quality, inspecting, inspector, inspectors, lake, lakes, river, rivers, cement, witness, witnesses, cover story, cover-up, lie, lies, liar, perjury
"Here's a song I wrote about a guy who gets falsely accused of trying to rob a liquor store."
Tags:mob, mobs, mobster, mobsters, mob boss, mob bosses, mafia, mafia boss, mafioso, organised, organized, organised crime, organized crime, criminal, criminals, robbed, rob, robbery, robbers, daylight robbery, armed robbery, armed robber, burglar, burglary, gun, guns, gunman, gunmen, stick em up, stick 'em up, heist, heists, bank robbery, liquor store, song, songs, excuse, excuses, guitar, guitars, guitarist, musical, musician, musicians, alibi, alibis, cop, cops, police, detective, detectives
"I should warn you, I'm expecting a call."
Tags:roses are red, rhyme, rhymes, rhyming, poem, poems, poetry, card, cards, greeting card, greeting cards, apology, apologies, sorry, regret, regrets, atone, excuse, excuses, confess, confessions, confession, repent, repentance, remorse, remorseful, terrible, bad, forgive, forgiveness, apologise, apologising, apologize, apologizing
'Your drain pipe was having a bad hair day.'
Tags:drain pipe, drainpipe, drain pipes, drainpipes, drainage pipe, drainage pipes, having a bad hair day, bedhead, bed head, bed headed, do it yourself, do-it-yourself, plumbing, lumber, plumbers, drainage, drainage products, drainage supplies, clog, clogged, clogged up, clogging up, clogged sink, clogged sinks, bathroom, bathrooms, toilet, toilets, excuse, excuses
"And, what's more, the jury was packed with ungulates."
Tags:ungulate, ungulates, hoof, hooves, hoofed, hooved, cloven hoof, cloven hoofs, goat, goats, impala, impalas, horse, horses, zebra, zebras, bias, biased jury, biased juries, convict, convicts, conviction, jury of your peers, biologist, biologists, biology, predator, predators, prey, prey animal, prey animals, tiger, tigers, lion, lions, big cat, big cats, jail cell, jail cells, prison cell, prisoner, prisoners, excuse, excuses, correctional facilities
"You're late! And don't hand me any of that all the king's horses crap!"
Tags:coming home, returning home, late, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, spouse, spouses, argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, conflict, conflicts, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, mother goose, literature, children's story, children's stories, fictional character, fictional characters, humpty dumpty, excuses, excuses
"I think you're using lawnmower repair to avoid intimacy."
"Maybe if we had better teachers we could learn new tricks."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, talking pet, talking pets, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, talking dog, talking dogs, dog, dogs, canine, canines, dog owner, dog owners, trick, tricks, pet trick, pet tricks, dog trick, dog tricks, teacher, teachers, education, excuse, excuses, lazy, sleepy, lethargic
"We'd invite you to our place in the country but we're having it torched."
Tags:demolition, demolish, destroy, burn down, burning down, torch, torched, torching, arson, arsonist, arsonists, dinner party, gathering, friend, friends, food, foods, restaurant, restaurants, dining, dinner, meal, meals, menu, menus, food service industry, customer service, hospitality, excuse, excuses
"We're looking for people to fire."
Tags:honest, honesty, honesty is the best policy, hire, hired, hiring, hires, personnel, hr, h r, h.r., h.r, human resources, business, big business, businessman, businessmen, business man, business men, exec, execs, executive, manager, management, corporate, corporation, corporations, employment, employed, fire, fired, firing, office worker, office drone, office drones, excuse, excuses, interview, interviews, interview skills, capitalism, late stage capitalism, sardonic, sarcastic
"Let me guess - your gas pedal stuck."