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"Then ask yourselves, 'Do we really need all this luxury?'And your answer, of course, is 'Yes!'"
"I find balloons easier to grip when they're slightly deflated.
Tags:balloon, balloons, balloon animal, balloon animals, clown, clowns, birthday, birthdays, birthday party, birthday parties, deflate, deflates, deflating, football, american football, scandal, scandals, cheat, cheats, cheating, cheater, cheaters, excuse, excuses, excusing, brady, tom brady, deflategate, deflate, deflated, deflate-gate
'Mom, I'm only late because you told me not to come in until I wipe my feet first.'
'My dog ate my homework and my birth certificate!'
"It wasn't a lie, Senator, it was a larger truth."
Tags:lie, lies, lying, excuse, excuses, excusing, misrepresent, misrepresents, misrepresentation, misrepresentations, truth, truths, larger truth, larger truths, positive spin, positive spins, spin doctor, spin doctors, spin, spins, spinning, politician, politicians, euphemism, euphemisms, hearing, hearings, trial, trials
'No, we're not religious. Sam just wears that cap to hide his bald spot.'
Massive hike in CEO pay
Tags:ceo, ceos, pay, payment, wage, wages, wage gap, wage inequality, inequality, salary, salaries, wealth, wealthy, wealth gap, wealth gaps, wage gaps, pays, hike, hikes, hiking, jealous, jealousy, excuse, excuses, excusing, corporate culture, corporate climate, corporate climates, rich, poor, rich person, rich people
'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'
"If my wife calls, I'm at the protest."
"Are you sure the Russians didn't hack my answers to make me look bad?"
Tags:russian, russians, hacker, hackers, hacking, hack, hacks, hacking scandal, hacking scandals, russian hacker, russian hackers, meddle, meddles, meddling, bad grade, bad grades, bad mark, bad marks, excuses, excuse, excusing, lying, lie, lies, scapegoat, scapegoats, scapegoating, poor excuse, poor excuses, student, students, bad student, bad students
"You know what I learned today? I learned you can't tell your boss he's a jerk and blame it on autocorrect."
Tags:bartenders, bartender, barhop, barhops, jerks, jerk, boss, bosses, difficult boss, difficult bosses, employer, employers, employee, employees, autocorrect, autocorrects, fire, fired, firing, lost job, lost jobs, job loss, job losses, bad excuse, bad excuses, excuse, excuses, excusing, lame excuse, lame excuses
"Sorry I'm late. I took the stairs."
"All the other kids have high-powered computers."
"If your mom calls everytime we talk, perhaps this is not the right job for you."
Tags:millennial, millennials, mom, moms, mum, mums, call, calls, calling, excuse, excuses, excusing, manager, managers, management, managing, personnel, personnel department, personnel departments, human resources, human resources department, human resources departments, negotiate, negotiates, negotiation, mother, mothers, job, jobs, employment, employ, employing, employs
"Come on, dear...you can't blame everything on Russian hackers."
"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."
Tags:activity tracker, activity trackers, fitness tracker, fitness trackers, fitness tracking, exercise tracker, exercise trackers, light, lights, check engine, exercise, walk, walks, walking, walker, jogger, joggers, jogging, jog, jogs, exercising, health maintenance, maintenance, maintain, maintains, maintaining, rest, rests, resting, relax, relaxes, relaxing, excuse, excuses, excusing, scapegoat, scapegoats, scapegoating
"Say, could you come back in an hour? By then I'm sure there will be some other place I have to be."
Tags:evasion, evasions, avoid, avoids, avoiding, avoidance, evade, evades, insult, insults, insulting, wave away, waves away, waving away, dodge, dodges, dodging, elude, eludes, eluding, steer clear, steers clear, steering clear, annoy, annoys, annoying, annoyed, irritate, irritates, irritation, irritations, abrasive, excuse, excuses, excusing
Nice try, but you can't blame your empty highball on global warming.
Tags:drink, drinks, drinking, bar, bars, pub, pubs, alcoholic, alcoholics, excuse, excuses, excusing, blame, blames, blaming, global warming, drinking problem, drinking problems, empty glass, empty glasses, highball, highballs, climate change, climate changes, evaporate, evaporates, evaporation, evaporating
"I was just...er...conserving energy!"
"Sexual harassment? Just because I admired your word processing."
'Tell me why I should excuse you from serving on jury duty. Be careful what you say. I have been trained to read between the lies.'
'A virus ate my powerpoint.'
'You'll have to excuse my date. He's still in beta.'
"I was not sleeping. My head was in the 'cloud'."
Tags:education, school, schools, class, classroom, kid, students, teacher, teachers, technology, computer, storage, cloud, cloud storage, cloud server, cloud servers, nap, naps, napping, napper, nappers, sleep, sleeps, sleep through, sleeps through, sleeping through, head in the cloud, heads in the cloud, cloud computer, cloud computers, cloud computing, modern life, excuse, excuses, excusing, lame excuse, lame excuses
"Don't worry. Our new phones come with an excuse app."