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Execution Fairground Attraction
"And now let's welcome, for the first and last time . . ."
Tags:execution, executions, execute, executes, executing, modern life, capital punishment, guest, guests, talk show, talk shows, talk show host, talk show hosts, commodify, commodifies, commodification, death penalty, state murder, state murders, state-sanctioned murder, anti-death penalty, late night talk show, late night talk shows, dark humor, dark humour
An executioner practices beheading with his son on a tee-ball.
Tags:tee-ball, father-son bond, father-son bonds, bond, bonds, bonding time, bonding times, executioner, executioners, execute, executes, executing, behead, beheads, beheading, father, fathers, dad, dads, son, sons, family business, family businesses, tee ball, tee, tees, tee off, tees off, teeing off, practice, practices, practicing, baseball bat, baseball bats, bat, bats, batting, batter, batters, swing, swings, swinging, axe, axes, blade, blades, executioner's blade
'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'
Tags:helmet, helmets, safe, safety, health and safety, safety council, council, councils, local council, execution, executioner, executioners, executions, executing, executed, executes, guillotine, beheading, beheaded, pointless, kill, killing, killed, kills, killer, killers, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"OK, now—this time for real!"
Tags:false start, false starts, miss, misses, missing, firing squad, firing squads, death penalty, capital punishment, death row, execution, executions, execute, executes, executing, executioner, executioners, frighten, frightens, frightening, scare, scares, scaring, scare to death, scares to death, scaring to death, target, targets, targeting, targeted
He replied all.
Tags:reply all, reply all button, accident, accidents, accidental, email, email chain, email chains, e-mail, e-mail chain, e-mail chains, faux pas, office worker, office workers, office drone, office drones, corporate culture, work email, work emails, corporation, corporations, burn at the stake, burns at the stake, execute, executes, executing, heretic, heretics, pariah, pariahs, outcast, outcasts, social outcast, social outcasts, burn the witch, nuisance, nuisances, overreaction, overreactions, overreact, overreacting, annoying, mistake, mistakes, common mistake, common mistakes
"Jeez, did we ever goof!"
Tags:execute, executes, executing, executioner, executioners, martyr, martyrs, religious martyr, religious martyrs, capital punishment, death penalty, blunder, blunders, prophet, prophets, divine, divinity, bless, blesses, blessing, blessings, angel, angels, afterlife, afterlives, judgement day, judgment day, mistake, mistakes, goof, goofs, pious, piety, believer, believers, god's will, sin, sins, sinning, sinner, sinners, saint, saints, martyred, blame, blames, blaming, god's wrath
'My son has a science fair coming up and he was wondering if you wouldn't mind putting some unpopped popcorn in your mouth.'
'Your sales have been so bad lately, firing you wasn't good enough.'
"I keep telling Mother our generation is interested in experiences not things."
Tags:guillotine, guillotines, generation gap, generation gaps, generational gap, generational gaps, consumerism, consumerist, consumerists, materialist, materialistic, materialism, execution, executions, executing, french history, french revolution, young people today, generational divide, generational divides, public execution, public executions
"We'd prefer a beheading, but we've decided to sue you instead."
Tags:beheading, beheadings, behead, beheads, king, kings, coup, coups, overthrow, overthrows, overthrowing, king charles i, sue, sues, lawsuit, lawsuits, modern times, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, class action lawsuit, class action lawsuits, leniency, clemency, capital punishment, execution, executions, executing, stay of execution, stays of execution, mercy, show mercy, showing mercy
A man attempts to execute a man with a wireless device.
Tags:wireless, cordless, execution, executions, executor, executors, executing, capital punishment, electric chair, electric chairs, flip the switch, flips the switch, flipping the switch, modern life, modern times, technological breakthrough, technological breakthroughs, efficient, efficiency, death penalty
"Your 5 A.M. is here."
Tags:appointment, appointments, execution, executions, execute, executes, executing, prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, criminal, criminals, criminality, wake, wakes, wake up, wakes up, waking up, prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, receptionist, receptionists, secretary, secretaries, office assistant, office assistants, office assistance, death row, death rows, inmate, inmates
"Yes, we cater to a rather specialized clientele."
Tags:headsman, antique, antiques, executioner, executioners, execute, executes, executing, kill, kills, killing, killings, torture, tortures, torturer, torturers, special interest, special interests, clientele, clienteles, cater, caters, catering, antique shop, antique shops, antiquing, antique store, antique stores, specialty, specialties, speciality, specialities
"Thanksgiving shmanksgiving - we both know this is because I slept with your wife."
Tags:thanksgiving, turkey, turkeys, turkey dinner, turkey dinners, revenge, vengeance, other man, other men, cheat, cheats, cheater, cheaters, cheating wife, cheating wives, adultery, adulterer, adulterers, execute, executes, executing, execution, executions, fight back, fights back, fighting back, christmas, christmas dinner, christmas dinners, excuse, excuses, lame excuse, lame excuses
'Cut off his head, but be compassionate about it.'
"Hi! My name is Rick - I'll be your executioner today!"
Tags:executioner, executioners, revolution, revolutions, revolutionary, revolutionaries, behead, beheads, beheaded, beheading, beheadings, capital punishment, waiter, waiters, wait staff, polite, courteous, courteousness, thoughtful, caring, contradiction, contradictions, contradictory, murder, murders, murdering, murderer, murderers, execute, executes, executing
'You make me want to be a better person.'
"They were good people, but they were wrong."
Tags:conquer, conquers, conquering, conquerer, conquerers, invading army, invading armies, invasion, invasions, invader, invaders, beheading, beheadings, execution, executions, executing, rebel, rebels, rebellion, rebellions, rebellious, dissent, dissenter, dissenters, war, wars, native population, native populations, invading force, invading forces, conquered populations, subjugated population, subjugated populations, propaganda, propagandist, propagandists, spin doctor, spin doctors, spin-doctor, spin-doctors, political spin
"Cancel my twelve-oh-one."
A man cutting hair waits for a hairy man who is about to be decapitated.
Tags:decapitation, decapitations, decapitated, headless, guillotine, guillotines, french revolution, hairy, hair, collect, collects, collecting, collection, collections, barber, barbers, barbershop, barbershops, opportunist, opportunists, opportunistic, entrepreneur, entrepreneurs, wig, wigs, toupee, toupees, hairpiece, hairpieces, execution, executions, executing
"Why didn't somebody tell us this guy could disarm with humor?"
Tags:execute, executing, executions, executioner, executioners, firing squads, death penalties, comedian, comedians, comedy, comedies, comic, comics, stand up, stand ups, stand-up, stand-ups, execution, firing squad, death penalty, condemned, joke, jokes, joker, jokers, joking, sense of humour, sense of humor
Prison gift shop.
Egg faces firing squad of chefs.
'Look, I'm not going to keep offering you last meals indefinitely.'