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"Not much in the way of hard assets, I'm afraid, but he did leave some highly desirable organs."
Tags:lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, reading of the will, will, wills, testament, testaments, asset, assets, money, executor, executors, heir, heirs, beneficiary, beneficiaries, medicine, medical, organ, organs, organ donor, organ donors, organ donation, transplant, transplants, desirable, death, probate, estate, estates, inheritance
A man attempts to execute a man with a wireless device.
Tags:wireless, cordless, execution, executions, executor, executors, executing, capital punishment, electric chair, electric chairs, flip the switch, flips the switch, flipping the switch, modern life, modern times, technological breakthrough, technological breakthroughs, efficient, efficiency, death penalty
'Can I check my emails first?'
"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."
Tags:death, dead, will, wills, estate, heir, heirs, beneficiary, beneficiaries, inheritance, bequest, bequests, estate tax, estate taxes, state tax, state taxes, federal tax, federal taxes, tax, taxes, administrative fees, legal fees, fee, fees, share, shares, portion, portions, money, finances, animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, cat, cats, feline, felines, cat owner, cat owners, cat lady, cat ladies, family, families, jealousy, envy, jealous, envious, executor, executors, probate
"Anyone who isn't specifically named in the will still receives one of these valuable gift bags."
"I brought my own bag."
Tags:bag, bags, recycle, recycles, recycling, reusable, reusable bag, reusable bags, environmentally friendly, environmental friendliness, execution, executions, executor, executors, reuse, reusing, conscientious, conscientiousness, liberal, liberals, left wing, left-winger, left-wingers, save the planet, saving the planet
A spider writes "terrific" about a prisoner on death row.
Tags:death row, execution, executions, executor, executors, inmate, inmates, children's lit, children's literature, stay of execution, stays of execution, pardon, pardons, pardoning, capital punishment, spider, spiders, advocate, advocates, advocacy, death penalty, anti-death penalty, opponent, opponents, opposition, children's book, children's books, terrific, prison rights, prisoners' rights
"Mom, the show was awesome! And the executioner threw me a souvenir!"
"Did you once admire your Aunt's kitchen towels?"
Tags:will, wills, executor, executors, executing, aunt, aunts, estate, estates, dealing with the estate, inherit, inheriting, inheritance, confused, confusion, incoherent, incoherent, assume, assuming, assumption, making assumptions, next-of-kin, kinsman, manage, managing, admire, admiration, bicker, bickers, bickering, divorce, divorces, divorcing, sore spot, sore spots
"I can help you guys form a union."
Tags:union, unions, unionise, unionises, unionising, unionize, unionizes, unionizing, union worker, union workers, coffin, coffins, undertaker, undertakers, undertaking, conflict of interest, conflicts of interest, execution, executions, executor, executors, hanging, hangings, old west, western, westerns, prison, prisoner, prisoners, capital punishment, union head, union heads
"I'd say it's about 2:15, Guvnah!"
'Ready! Aim! Unfriend!'
A football team lines up under a guillotine.
'Maybe the meek will inherit the Earth, but they'll need tough guys like me for executors!'
'Of course the swing is important, just don't allow it to pull focus from the neck.'
Tags:advice, sports advice, sport's advice, executions, executors, apprentices, apprenticeships, coaching, sports, training, apprentice, apprenticeship, tricks of the trade, business, co-workers, executives, wall street, teaching, wisdom, work, labor, management, history, executor, execution, headsman
"I'm sorry, but Dad's final wishes were that you didn't get to sit in his chair."
'Is this going to be on the test?'
'If you want something done right, son, you have to threaten to cut everybody's head off.'
"I think it would be a mistake to let you take the stand in your own defense."
'Let's just say that we're going to simplify your life....'
U R Hot
'Please can I just lick the bowl?'
'Nothing to it, squire. We only use twin blades these days!'
'...How long is this 'Death by Kazoo' going to take?'