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"I think the return of the pterodactyls is a little ominous!"
Tags:pterodactyl, pterodactyls, dinosaur, dinosaurs, extinction, extinctions, extinction of the dinosaurs, ominous, warning, warnings, warning sign, warning signs, understatement, understatements, pterosaurs, the apocalypse, apocalypse, reptile, reptiles, flying reptile, flying reptiles, end of the earth, end of the world, warning sign, warning signs
'I have mostly conservative investments in my retirement portfolio, plus a few riskier, short-term performers tossed in as a hedge against inflation.'
"Bad news - the unicorns are gay."
Tags:noah, noah's ark, bible, bibles, creation, creation myth, creation myths, creation story, creation stories, flood, floods, biblical flood, biblical floods, animal, animals, mythical creature, mythical creatures, unicorn, unicorns, gay, lgbt, lgbtq, extinct, extinction, extinctions, great flood, noah, going exinct, endangered species, accident, accidents, mistake, mistakes, consequence, consequences, endangered, endangered species
"You know who I don't see around much anymore and I don't really miss? The Neanderthals."
Tags:history, historical, pre-history, pre-historical, prehistory, prehistorical, stone age, bc, b.c., before christ, paleolithic, palaeolithic, cave-dweller, cave-dwellers, cavemen, caveman, neanderthal, neanderthals, early humans, homo sapiens, extinct, extinction, extinctions, disappeared, disappearance
Oil Spill in the Gulf of Mexico
Tags:gulf of mexico, theory of evolution, evolutionary chart, the evolution of man, oil spill, oil spills, school of fish, fish, fishes, environmental disaster, environmental disasters, environmentalist, environmentalists, pollute, pollutes, polluting, pollution, ocean life, sea life, sea creature, sea creatures, extinction, extinctions, mass extinction, mass extinctions, climate change, industrial waste
"We're not certain why they disappeared, but archeologists speculate that it may have had something to do with their size."
Tags:archeology, archaeology, archaeologist, archaeologists, archeologist, archeologists, suv, suvs, oversized, gas guzzler, gas guzzlers, gas guzzling, history, history museum, history museums, fuel, petrol, gas, gasoline, fuel consumption, family car, family cars, fuel economy, fuel efficiency, car, cars, auto, autos, automobile, automobiles, drive, drives, driving, trend, trends, trendy, extinct, extinction, extinctions, environmentalist, environmentalists, environmentalism, car manufacturer, car manufacturers, car manufacturing, museum, museums
"If we die, I want you to know Tim. I'm still super pi**ed you told Karen that I hooked up with Angela."
Tags:endangered species, endangered animal, endangered animals, extinction, extinctions, extinct, diplodocus, dino, dinos, dinosaur, dinosaurs, petty grievance, petty grievances, petty, pettiness, gossip, gossips, gossiping, gossiper, gossipers, gossiped, rumour, rumours, rumor, rumors, asteroid strike, asteroid, meteor, meteors, asteroids, private life, privacy
"Anywhere with ice...a lot of ice."
'Okay, say you go extinct before the rest of your family...'
'Why am I up here? How do expect your species to avoid extinction, if you don't evolve and adapt to walking on land?'
'I'd like to buy extinction insurance.'
Why the Dinosaurs Disappeared...
Natural History Museum: Tree
The Very Last Dinosaur
"Thank you for letting us consider the enclosed manuscript. Although it has obvious merit, we are sorry to say that it does not suit our present needs."
Tags:manuscript, manuscripts, submit, submits, submission, rejection, rejections, rejection letter, rejection letters, writer, writers, author, authors, submissions, pitch, pitches, pitch meeting, pitch meetings, dinosaurs, dinosaurs, extinct, extinction, extinctions, die out, dies out, dying out, writing
"At least it's a dry heat."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, dinosaur, dinosaurs, talking dinosaur, talking dinosaurs, weather, heatwave, heatwaves, heat, hot, dry heat, dying, thirsty, desert, deserts, desertification, global warming, climate change, environment, complain, complaint, complaints, complaining, extinction, extinctions, extinction event, extinction events, paleontology, paleontologist, paleontologists, palaeontology, palaeontologist, palaeontologists
"Uh-oh, there go the dinosaurs."
Tags:angel, angels, heaven, afterlife, hereafter, god, the almighty, meteor, meteorite, meteors, meteorites, extinction, ele, extinction level event, extinction level events, extinctions, dinosaur, dinosaurs, wipe out, wipes out, accident, accidents, accidental, mistake, mistakes, careless, carelessness
The Last of the Passenger Pigeons
Tags:passenger, passengers, passenger pigeon, passenger pigeons, cheat, cheats, cheating, cheater, cheaters, taxi, taxis, cabby, cabbies, cab fare, cab fares, bad directions, extinct, extinction, extinctions, sucker, suckers, gullible, gullibility, carrier pigeon, carrier pigeons, new york, new york city, fare, fares, high fare, high fares, swindle, swindles, swindling
"Yes, the planet got destroyed. But for a beautiful moment in time we created a lot of value for shareholders."
Tags:shareholder, shareholders, stock, stockmarket, stockmarkets, stock market, stock markets, stockbroker, stockbrokers, priority, priorities, profit, profits, profit motive, profit motives, armageddon, apocalypse, post-apocalyptic, post-apocalypse, environmental destruction, catastrophe, catastrophes, extinction, human extinction, extinctions, value, bottom line, bottom lines, capitalist, capitalists, capitalism, late capitalism, nuclear fallout, fallout, environmentalism, environmentalist, environmentalists, pollution, polluter, polluters, campfire, campfires, camp fire, camp fires, camp fire story, camp fire stories, scary story, scary stories, environment, corporation, corporations, corporate greed
"I say we throw the damn things overboard."
Tags:dinosaur, dinosaurs, brontosaurus, bronotosauruses, noah's ark, noahs ark, flood, floods, flooding, extinct, extinction, extinctions, great flood, bible story, bible stories, die out, dies out, dying out, throw overboard, throws overboard, throwing overboard, inconvenient, inconvenience, apatosaurus, ark, arks
Too late to change
First Annual Mammal-Dinosaur Potluck
"Poor Jim. He was a climate change denier and refused to see his iceberg melt."
Tags:global warming, climate change, climate change denier, climate change deniers, anti-science, science denier, science deniers, existential threat, existential threats, extinct, extinction, extinctions, polar bear, polar bears, arctic melt, arctic melts, arctic sea ice, climate, cold, arctic, bear, bears, north pole, melt, melts, melting, iceberg, icebergs, head in the sand, heads in the sand, see no evil
'Sorry... you are late. There are no vacancies.'
Elephant falls into tar pits and wonders about potential extinction."