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"Man, I hate daylight savings."
"... I CAN'T be 'at risk for a heart attack,' I never exert myself!"
Tags:doctor, dr. general practitioner, jawbone, check up, checkup, checkups, check ups, physicals, workout, workouts, sedentary lifestyle, sedentary lifestyles, physical, heart, health, healthy, heart attack, exercise, ill, sick, sickness, out of shape, lethargy, lethargic, gym, work out, medical, medicine, fat, pre-diabetic, diabetic, extra crispy
Thinking "Inside the Box."
"I don't know, Jed. Sometimes I think people don't realize the health benefits of free-range pinatas!"
"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."
Tags:grumpy, grumpy old man, gramps, grampy, smile, frown, face, facial muscles, muscles, bad mood, grouch, grouchy, working out, work out, exercise, mood, moods, moody, moodiness, extra crispy, bad mood, bad moods, grouches, grump, grumps, frowns, working out, workout, workouts, work-out, work-outs, exercise, exercises, exercising
"I found this great chiropractor!"
Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.
Tags:leaf blower, leafblowers, leaf blowers, leaf-blower, leaf-blowers, garden chore, garden chores, yard work, leaves, leaf, autumn, fall, september, october, november, yard work, yardwork, chores, rake, raking, extra crispy, noise, loud, noise pollution, garden, gardens, gardener, gardeners, noisy neighbour, noisy neighbor, noisy neighbours, noisy neighbors
"No. I mean it's great that horror movies get your heart beating faster, but that still doesn't count as aerobic exercise."
Tags:doctor, doctors, checkup, checkups, physical, physicals, exercises, horror movie, horror movies, horror story, horror stories, physical, general practitioner, check-up, health, exercise, fitness, aerobic, work out, gym, horror movies, scary movies, horror, scary, monster, heart rate, bpm, weight, extra crispy, fat, overweight, workout, workouts
Needle in a Haystack vs. Thumbtack in a Junk Drawer
"I guess I misunderstood when you said you were a 'fan dancer.'"
"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."
Tags:churches, religious ceremony, religious ceremonies, communions, priests, pastors, reverends, bishops, food scare, food scares, organic produce, fussy eater, fussy eaters, organic food, church, mass, catholic, eucharist, communion, priest, pastor, reverend, bishop, god, christ, jesus, extra crispy
Humpty the Game Warden
"No, John. You know I'll only end up hurting you."
"So, you're telling me that my assets have been frozen?"
Tony's online class in kung fu develops a sudden snag...
Aquarium Religious Ceremonies
Tags:aquarium, aquariums, fish-tank, fish-tanks, fish tanks, goldfish, fishes, goldfishes, gold fishes, worships, religious ceremony, religious ceremonies, fish, fish tank, gold fish, religion, god, prayer, worship, ceremony, ceremonies, sacrament, church, priest, preacher, pastor, rabbi, congregation, extra crispy, pet, pets, fish owner, fish owners
"Just trying to get in on that whole 'farm-to-table' thing..."
"Yeah, you need to specify ICED tea!"
"Honey, have you seen my loafers?"
"So, how's that 'Tiny House living' working for you so far?"