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"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."
Ultimately, the teachers union agreed to a lesser pay increase in exchange for a full-time massage therapist in the faculty lounge.
" 'How I Spent My Sabbatical,' by Professor Harvey Brinkman."
Tags:education, school, schools, schooling, teaching, teacher, teachers, student, students, classroom, classrooms, class, classes, presentation, presentations, lecture, lectures, essay, essays, summer vacation, summer, vacation, vacations, break, breaks, holiday, holidays, sabbatical, sabbaticals, professor, professors, academic, academics, university, universities, college, colleges, higher education, higher ed, how i spent my summer vacation, educator, educators, lecturer, lecturer, faculty, fellow, fellows, instructor, instructors, reader, readers, word play, wordplay
'Before our principal addresses the faculty, there's something important that has to be said.'
"We don't have the budget for a PE teacher, but somebody has to do it."
"It's the superintendent's idea of alternative dispute resolution."
Department of Nanotechnology
"I guess there've been more staff cuts than we thought."
'I was made Professor Emeritus before my time.'
"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""
Principal sees a sign on faculty room: Happy Hour 3:00 - 4:30.
The faculties new biker gang dress code dramatically reduced discipline problems at Welsner Junior High.
"Here's the brain-teaser of the day: If an outsourced part-time temp falls in the hall, does anyone hear it?"
"I hereby bring to order this Sunday session of the Faculty Senate."
'Dr. Znarfglaub is our new faculty member - he doesn't speak English, so he's the perfect affirmative action hire!'
"This report is replete with errors, distortions and downright lies, yet I find its moral message quite uplifting."
Guidance Counselor's boxes, 'push'--'shove'.
Dementia Clinic: 'Completely out to lunch.'
'We have so many meetings on how to teach better, we don't have time to teach at all.'
Law student at interview, "I've got two c's and a b pending appeal."
'Naturally, he feels humiliated. Twenty-five years of teaching math and he takes a pi to the face.'