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Early divorce settlement
Tags:early settlement, early settlements, hamlet, hamlets, history, iron age, iron age settlement, iron age settlements, bronze age, bronze age settlements, divorce, divorces, divorcing, divorced, divorcing, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, failed marriage, failed marriages, break up, breaking up, break ups, split, splitting, split up, pun, puns, wordplay
"Quick! Hide! That may be my husband!"
"There's nothing wrong with our marriage, but the spectre of gay marriage has hopelessly eroded the institution."
Tags:couple, couples, bad relationship, bad relationships, divorce, divorces, homophobics, failed marriage, failed marriages, split-up, splitting-up, split up, splitting up, break-up, breaking-up, break up, breaking up, separating, separation, lgbt, lgbtq, lgbtqa, lgbtqa+, discriminate, discriminating, discrimination, institution of marriage, civil partnership, civil partnerships, same sex marriage, same sex marriages, same-sex marriages, gay marriages, bigot, bigots
Make an Offer
Tags:husband, husbands, wife, wives, relationship, relationships, couple, couples, spouse, spouses, unhappy, failing relationship, marriage, married, failed marriage, divorce, divorcing, separating, for sale, yard sale, boot sale, garage sale, small business, name your price, bid, bidding, bidder, auction, auctioneer, auctioneers, old age, bitter, sarcasm, sarcastic
"We're looking for a long dining room table that can symbolize the growing chasm between us as our marriage devolves into a black charade of alienation and indifference, for around twelve hundred dollars."
Tags:dining room table, dining room, dining rooms, table, tables, marital problem, marital problems, marriage problem, marriage problems, married life, alienation, indifference, furniture shopping, furniture shop, furniture shops, symbolism, failed marriage, failed marriages, symbolic, failing marriages, charade, charades
"Your kids have left and gone on to lives of their own..." a dog yelps while his owner runs away.
Tags:dog, dogs, canine, canines, man's best friend, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, talking dog, talking dogs, talking pet, talking pets, talking animal, talking animals, animal, animals, dog owner, dog owners, mid life crisis, rough patch, tough times, hard times, despair, depressed, depression, anxiety, rubbing it in, rub some dirt in it, rub it in, make it worse, giving up, failed marriage, failed marriages, divorce, divorced, lonely
"I filed for divorce on the grounds of mental exhaustion."
Tags:divorce, divorcing, divorced, exhausted, exhaustion, couple, couples, relationship, relationships, spouse, spouses, married, marriage, failed marriage, failing marriage, couples counsellor, couples counselor, couples counselling, marriage therapy, couples therapy, therapist, therapists, breakup, breakups, breaking up, splitting up, split up
'The day you were born was a medical error!'
Great, first the marriage turns sour, now the milk.
'I'm sure Mister Right will come along someday...until then, I guess I'll just stay married.'
"Three. How many times you been married?"
Tags:recycle, recycles, recycling, environmentalist, environmentalists, recycling symbol, recycling symbols, marriage, marriages, serial monogamist, serial monogamists, divorce, divorces, divorcee, divorcees, ex-wife, ex-wives, ex-husband, ex wife, ex wives, ex husband, ex husbands, commitment issue, commitment issues, relationship failures, marital failure, marital failures, failed marriage, failed marriages
"What rhymes with 'failed marriage'?"
"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."
Tags:show business, tv show, tv shows, marriage, failed marriage, failed marriages, divorce, divorced, ex, exes, ex-wife, ex-wives, ex-husband, alcohol, booze, bar, bars, pub, pubs, beer, beers, cocktail, cocktails, drink, sitcom, sitcoms, comedy, comedies, drinks, drinker, drinkers, drinking, drunk, drunks, bartender, bartenders
'I'm very old and alone now: Sometimes, I think I should have left one of my husbands alive...'
'I've had a series of unfortunate marriages.'
'Have you considered telling each other to go to hell and getting a divorce?'
'I took my wife to the tunnel of love...She told me to wait outside.'
'I want a divorce...I told my husband that I need more space and he locked me out of the house.'
'I knew the marriage wouldn't last...She brought a date to our wedding.'
'My husband couldn't make it...He has a date.'
'Your case if too tough for me...I'm calling for a federal mediator.'
'My wife ran off with my best friend...I really miss him.'
Divorcing the boring husband
How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her.
'They saved the marriage by directing their anger toward a third party.'