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The cake was great and the icecream was delicious, but deep down inside, he knew that some day his parents would discover that 'f' wasn't for 'fantastic', and then none of it would be worth it.
Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Alumnae News
Tags:alum, alums, alumni, alumnae, chance encounter, chance encounters, old friend, old friends, college friend, college friends, art school, art schools, visual arts, visual arts major, visual arts majors, faux pas, cringe, cringes, cringing, awkward, awkward scenario, awkward scenarios, awkward scene, awkward scenes, copywriter, copywriters, writing copy, copy, advertising agency, advertising agencies, career, careers, success, successes, successful, compare, compares, comparing, comparison, comparisons, waitress, waitresses, fail, fails, failing, failure, failures
'Once again, you were right only fifty percent of the time. Have you considered a career as a TV weatherman?'
Annual fear of failure marathon.
'So the happy meal didn't work.'
Tags:therapy, therapies, therapist, therapists, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychotherapy, psychotherapist, psychotherapists, happy meal, happy meals, fail, fails, failing, failed, scare, scares, scared, upset, sad, mental problem, mental problems, distress, distressed, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'Your son's poor grades are caused by Attendance deficit disorder. . .'
Tags:attention deficit disorder, add, special needs, learning difficulty, learning difficulties, skipping school, skipping class, skipping lessons, classes, class, lesson, lessons, diagnosis, doctor, doctors, grade, grades, fail, fails, pupil, pupils, student, students, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
"Charlie, it's us, your teammates. We're here to help you. The other team's getting an awful lot of hits and we're worried."
Tags:worry, worries, worrying, worrier, worriers, pitcher, pitchers, pitching, baseball, baseball player, baseball players, meeting on the mound, meetings on the mound, intervention, interventions, intervene, intervenes, intervening, fail, fails, failing, failure, failures, bad day, bad days, rough day, rough days, rub it in, rubs it in, rubbing it in, mistake, mistakes, accident, accidents, embarrass, embarrasses, embarrassing, humiliate, humiliates, humiliating, alcoholic, alcoholics, alcoholism
'Once again, you were right only fifty percent of the time, Have you considered a career as a TV weatherman'
Tags:kid, kids, school, schools, schooling, pupil, pupils, school children, school kids, teacher, teachers, lesson, lessons, subject, subjects, test, tests, exam, exams, examination, examinations, fail, failed, fails, failing, answer, answers, mark, marks, marked, weatherman, weather man, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"I guess someone else with three wishes is wishing your three wishes don't come true."
"She's inconsolable since Mizrahi went belly-up."
Tags:inconsolable, belly up, goes belly up, going belly up, middle age, failure, failures, fail, fails, failing, house coat, house coats, worry, worries, worrying, fashion designer, fashion designers, fashion design, fashion designs, designer label, designer labels, going out of business, goes out of business
'Evidently, studying isn't one of the tasks you perform when you're multitasking.'
All of my hopes and dreams, crushed, served on a bun.
Tags:hot dog, hot dogs, hot dog stand, hot dog stands, vendor, vendors, street vendor, street vendors, working class, working classes, hopes and dreams, crushed, crushing, street cart, street carts, dirty water hot dog, dirty water hot dogs, ambition, ambitions, ambitious, ambitiousness, fail, fails, failure, failures
Concerned that their teenagers weren't studying for their SATs, the Moxleys hired an actor to panhandle on the street near their house.
'Sorry, Rudolph, we can't let you join in any reindeer games... You've tested positive for steroids.'
Tags:reindeer, rudolph, red nose, drug, drugs, drugs test, drugs tests, steroid, steroids, positive, fail, fails, failing, failed, muscle, muscles, muscly, ban, bans, banned, banning, reindeer game, reindeer games, coach, coaches, coaching, coached, performance enhancing, improve, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
No cell phones!
'The good news is that you don't have any long-term memory loss. The bad news is it's all MIDTERM memory loss.'
'I always thought the expression 'the road to success is paved with failure' was just a random saying and not the literal truth...'
Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.
Failed business ventures.
Maintenance Fee Party
Another failed fish hypnotism.
"But, seriously folks…."
Tags:comic, comics, standup, standups, stand-up, stand-ups, comedian, comedians, comedy night, comedy nights, bomb, bombs, bombing, fail, fails, failing, failure, failures, tough crowd, tough crowds, audience, audiences, tough audience, tough audiences, but seriously folks, bored, unamused, amusement, amusing, laugh, laughs, laughing, laughter, funny man, funny person, funny people, funny men
"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."
Tags:recovery, economic recovery, chance, chances, lotto ticket, lotto tickets, lottery ticket, lottery tickets, fail, fails, failure, failures, failing business, failing businesses, profit, profits, falling profit, falling profits, demand, shrinking market, shrinking markets, demand curve, lower, lowers, lowering, lowered
'Well, so much for the clean getaway. 'F' means forward and 'R' means reverse, Vince...'
Tags:croc, crocodile, crocodiles, gator, alligator, alligators, golf buggy, golf buggies, steal, steals, stolen, take, taken, getaway, get away, getaway car, clean getaway, rocket science, let down, fail, failure, fails, mistake, mistaken, mistakes, mistaking, thieves, thief, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
The Trojan Beagle.
Tags:dog, dogs, canine, canines, beagle, beagles, trojan, trojans, fail, fails, failing, failed, failure, failures, trap, traps, trick, tricks, squash, squashes, squashed, overcrowd, overcrowds, overcrowded, sneak, sneaks, sneaky, attempt, attempts, attempting, attempted, infiltrate, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys