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To be more convincing when he faked a sick day, Bill liked to actually feel lousy.
"A phony attorney…I'm so disappointed, son. Your brother is a phony doctor."
Tags:phony, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, nag, nags, nagging, jewish mother, mom, mom, mother, mothers, parent, parents, disappointment, disappointments, passive aggressive, passive-aggressiveness, fake, fakes, faking, faker, fakers, brother, brothers, ne'er do well, compare, compares, comparison, success, successful, con man, con men, con artist, con artists, con, cons, confidence man, confidence men, expectations, high expectations
Snow Globe Fortune Teller
"No, I'm not faking it, I'm really happy when they come home."
Tags:dog, dogs, dog owner, dog owners, dog owning, fake, fakes, faker, fakers, fake it, fakes it, faking it, delight, joy, joyful, return, returns, return home, returns home, returning home, come back, comes back, coming back, dog lover, dog lovers, accusation, accusations, accuse, accuses, accusing, suck up, sucks up, sucking up, flatter, flatters, flattering, flatterer, flatterers
Although gravity had taken its toll Connie, she had devised a way to look youthful...
"Lives in the basement and has yet to bring home a dime."
Tags:basement, basement dweller, basement dweller, live at home, living at home, lives at home, superhero, superheroes, parent, parents, parents' house, parents house, useless, worthless, non-contributor, non-contributors, non-contributing, loser, losers, millennial, millennials, generation, generations, generation gap, generation gaps, appearance, appearances, facade, facades, faker, fakers, faking, impressive, all show, comic, comics, comic book, comic books
Tags:conductor, conductors, orchestra, orchestras, music, musician, musicians, music, fake, fakes, faker, fake it, fakes it, faking it, musician, musicians, musical, read music, reads music, reading music, music stand, music stands, fraud, frauds, impostor, impostors, impostor syndrome, unprepared, failing to prepare, preparation, preparations, preparing
"O.K., O.K., ... I'm a prawn who made it big. Shrimp just sounds better."
Hadley K., All-Day Sucker.
Tags:sucker, suckers, gullible, naive, naivete, incompetent, incompetence, rip-off, ripped off, ripping off, aromatherapy, quack, quacks, quackery, fake, fakes, faker, fakers, three card monte, scam, scams, scamming, scammer, scammers, gullibility, believing, believing mind, believing minds, believing brain, believing brains
"I've noticed you've taken to wearing a lab coat lately. May I ask the reason why?"
"Stop putting on airs, Max!"
"Listen, you little punk—I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a lady whose aunt lives next to a guy who cleans the pool of a guy who could have your legs broken."
Tags:threaten, threat, threatened, threatens, connection, connections, ties, tie, connected, interrogate, interrogation, interrogates, interrogating, poser, posing, pose, posed, fake, faker, pathetic, mob, mobs, mobster, mobsters, mob boss, mob bosses, mafia, mafia boss, mafioso, organised, organized, organised crime, organized crime, crime, criminal, criminals, question, questioning, torture, tortured, violence, violent, kid, kids, invert, inversion, subvert, subversion, subverted, subverting, subverts, inverts
"What's a good board for someone who gets out in the water once a year but talks about surfing incessantly?"
Tags:surf, surfers, sport, sports, surfing, surfer dude, ocean, mid life crisis, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, surfboard, surf-board, surf board, wave, waves, hang ten, sea, poser, pose, posed, fake, faker, all talk, faked, fraud, fraudster, fraudulent, hobby, hobbyist, big mouth, mouthing off, relatable
"Well you can't possibly be expected to perform as lead dancer with the Bolshoi Ballet with a bad back...have a note for three months and see how you feel."
"If I could take back ninety per cent of the things I say, then I think people would know the real me."
Tags:dishonest, dishonesty, lie, lies, lying, liar, liars, regret, regrets, regretful, regretting, life choices, mistake, mistakes, the real me, the real you, mid life crisis, mid life crises, mid-life crisis, mid-life crises, insomnia, insomniac, insomniacs, overthink, overthinker, overthinking, overthinkers, fake, faker, fakers, white lie, white lies
Fight Crime - Give Generously
Tags:superhero, superheroes, beg, begging, beggar, beggars, crime, crimes, fight crime, fighting crime, crime fighting, fraud, faker, fakers, con artist, con artists, con-artist, con-artists, homeless, homelessness, homeless people, homeless person, gaslight, gaslighting, self-interest, self-interested, handout, handouts, panhandle, panhandles, panhandler, panhandlers
"The usual, sir?" "Yes, please."
Tags:bald, baldness, insecure, insecurity, insecurities, male pattern baldness, barber, barbers, barbershop, barbershops, cut hair, cuts hair, cutting hair, hairstylist, hairstylists, stylist, stylists, wig, wigs, hairstyle, hairstyles, fake, faker, fakers, faking, regular customer, regular customers, regular, regulars, paint, paints, painting, painted on, age, ages, ageing, aging
"Good afternoon, Ted. I'm your online presence."
"No, mine has a gold band with diamonds, fleurs-de-lis, and four arches topped by a jewelled cross."
Tags:crowns, royalty, aspiration, aspirations, royal, royals, royal family, royal families, dress the part, dresses the part, dressing the part, faker, fakers, faking, poseur, poseurs, poser, posers, hat check, hat checks, formal dinner, formal dinners, pretender, pretenders, fake it, faking it, fake it till you make it, diamond, diamonds, tacky, fleurs-de-lis, crown, crowns, tiara, tiaras, king, kings, mankoff
Less Than Superheros
Tags:hero, heroes, super hero, super heroes, superhero, superheroes, word play, word plays, comic, comics, comic book, comic books, comic book characters, comic book character, knockoff, knockoffs, idiom, idioms, imposter, imposters, impostor, impostors, fake, fakes, faker, phoney, phony, phoneys, phonies, film, films, movies, movie, movie characters, movie character, film character, film characters, action movies, action movie, comic book movies, comic book movie
"Relax, relax. There's plenty more where that came from."
"Everybody sees right through your damned transparency."
Tags:transparent, transparency, transparencies, see through you, seeing through you, look through you, looks through you, looking through you, fraud, fraudulent, fake, fakes, faking, faker, fakers, faking it, tell off, tells off, telling off, cocktail party, cocktail parties, aggressive, aggressiveness, superficial, superficiality
"Nothing to be concerned about. We just want to show you our phony badges and then leave."
Tags:police, cop, cops, visitor, visitors, visiting, badge, badges, police badge, police badges, suspicious, suspicion, suspicions, paranoia, paranoid, cause for concern, concern, concerns, warrant, warrants, search warrant, sear warrants, search, searches, search and seizure, fake, fakes, faking, faker, fakers, unlawful, officer, officers, inspection, inspections
"We've been getting a lot of calls saying that you're a terrible magician."
Tags:police, policeman, policemen, policewoman, policewomen, cop, cops, law enforcement, magic, magician, magicians, magic trick, magic tricks, complain, complaints, complaint, fraud, fake, faker, fakers, scam, sawing a woman in half, magician's assistant, magician's assistants, magic show, magic shows
'And don't forget to put my personal touch on it.'