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"Trust me - he's going to a better place."
"Finding work as an actor isn't easy. Once, I was so desperate, I staged my own death ??" and still lost the part."
'How elaborate. Most women who don't want to go out with me just say no.'
"Dear, this is Larry Prescott. Larry is faking his own death."
Harry Houdini's grave with hole next to it.
"For tax purposes I need to be dead for a year."