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'We've isolated the obesity gene down to one of these two.'
One of the Dangers of Childhood Obesity
Customer: 'I've got a complaint. This laptop doesn't fit my lap!'
"Your skin is enlarged."
Job Creation Scheme.
'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'
"Yeah, but for a fat guy who doesn't exercise I'm in pretty good shape."
Tags:eat, eating, diet, diets, fitness, fit, fitter, exercise, exercising, exercises, exercised, physical fitness, physically fit, middle-age, middle age, middle aged, obese, obesity, morbidly obese, morbid obesity, xxl, food, foodie, obesity epidemic, fat, overweight, weight, weightloss, weight loss, weight-loss, good shape, in shape, irony, ironic, dramatic irony, bad shape, out of shape, healthy, health and wellbeing
"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."
Tags:whale, whales, whaling, whaler, whalers, whaled, fat, fatness, fatter, fattening, weight, weightloss, weight loss, weigh, scale, scaled, proportional, proportion, new year new me, new year's, new years, new year's resolution, resolutions, new year's resolutions, nye, diet, dieting, crash diet, crash dieting, extreme diet, extreme diets, perspective, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, christmas weight
"Just sitting here widening. You?"
Joe's Weight Gain: 'Sweat-pants make you fat.'
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, boss, bosses, executive, executives, exec, execs, manager, managers, management, middle management, hierarchy, office, offices, office life, employee, employees, worker, workers, fat, fat shaming, weight, body weight, overweight, obese, obesity, obesity crisis, chubby, beer belly, beer bellies, losing weight, weightloss, weight loss, middle, middles, stomach, stomachs, managing, fitness, health, wordplay, word play
'It's the most effective appetite suppressant available,'
Tags:weigh, weighs, weight, weight, gastric band, gastric bands, diet, diets, dieting, obese, obesity, fat, fats, fatty, band, bands, reduce, reduces, reduction, reductions, appetite, appetites, suppress, suppresses, suppressing, suppressant, suppressants, tummy, tummies, belly, bellies, close to home
Researchers at the National Nutrition Institute study whether or not food really does go directly to our thighs.
'You're the new guy right? Uh... you might want to stay away from the cottage cheese.'
"I can't budge this t'ing. We shoulda popped him before he had dinner."
Tags:interrogate, interrogation, interrogates, interrogating, mob, mobs, mobster, mobsters, mob boss, mob bosses, mafia, mafia boss, mafioso, organised, organized, organised crime, organized crime, crime, criminal, criminals, question, questioning, torture, tortured, violence, violent, kid, kids, invert, inversion, subvert, subversion, subverted, subverting, subverts, inverts, dinner, burial, burials, coffin, coffins, weight, fat, full
"Walter has decided to add years to his life."
Tags:medical, medicine, weight, overweight, fat, obese, obesity, obesity crisis, unhealthy, health, exercise, exercising, fitness, working out, losing weight, getting in shape, get in shape, weight-loss, weightloss, watch weight, add years, lose years, life, age, aging, ageing, middle age, middle aged, middle-age, middle-aged, mid-life crisis, midlife crisis, old age, getting older, getting old, growing old, growing older, extend your life, add years to your life
Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.
Tags:fish, fishes, bowl, bowls, goldfish, goldfishes, eat, eats, eating, overeat, overeats, overeater, weight, weigh, weighs, weight loss, meet, meets, meeting, dead, dying, float, floats, floating, whistles, whistle, whistling, obese, obesity, fat, fats, greed, greedy, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
"Remember when we used to have to fatten the kids up first?"
Tags:childhood obesity, fat epidemic, obesity epidemic, fat, fatness, obese, obesity, gingerbread house, gingerbread houses, witch, witches, witchcraft, hansel, gretel, dietitian, dietitians, dietician, dieticians, nutritionist, nutritionists, junk food, junk foods, unhealthy lifestyle, unhealthy lifestyles, fairytale, fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairy story, fairy stories, wicked witch, wicked witches
Too Skinny, Too Fat
'Does this outfit make me look fat?'
Tags:fat, does this make me look fat, attractive, attractiveness, ugly, lie, lies, liar, lying, lied, lie detector, lie detectors, lie detecting, test, testing, tested, tests, outfit, out fits, out fit, outfits, opinion, opinions, personal opinion, personal opinions, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"Shut up. You could use an Empire waist, too!"
Tags:construction, construction worker, construction workers, builder, builders, contractor, contractors, men's clothing, men's wear, menswear, mens clothing, for men, masculinity, masculine, feminine, femininity, fashion, fashions, fashionable, flatter, flatters, flattering, empire line, empire waist, empire, empire dress, gut, guts, beer belly, beerbelly, belly, paunch, potbelly, pot belly, fat, fatter, weight, weight gain
'I tell ya, that was sheer genius getting those flimsy chairs for the waiting area! We've been selling a ton of diet pills.'
Tags:diet, diets, dieting, diet pill, diet pills, obese, obesity, fat, fatness, pharmacy, pharmacies, pharmacist, pharmacists, flimsy chair, flimsy chairs, flimsy, breaks, break, breaking, fragile, plan, plans, scheme, schemes, cunning, waiting area, waiting areas, customer, customers, close to home
'You need more calcium.'
"You're hyper nourished."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's offices, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, diagnosis, fat, overweight, obese, obesity, obesity crisis, nutrition, eating, eating habits, dietary habits, overeating, unhealthy, politically correct, political correctness, wordplay, word play
"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."
Tags:skinny-dipping, skinny-dipper, skinny-dippers, skinnydipping, skinnydipper, skinnydippers, skinny dipper, skinny dippers, skinny dipping, love life, love-life, denial, weight problem, weight problems, overweight, love is blind, girlfriend, girlfriends, boyfriend, boyfriends, skinny, fat, fatness, plump, plumpness