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"The population is 40% overweight and you seem to account for 20% on your own."
". . . Neither of you are fat, but I am. When thin people call themselves fat and gross what does that imply about me?"
"This is not what I had in mind when you said you'd take me whale-watching."
"We'd prefer that you wait until people ask before directing them to the weight-loss aisle."
"It says, ' ... can't breathe ... get off!'"
"People don't agree on PRECISELY the right language but it's generally agreed that 'humongous lardy fat lump' is probably overstepping the mark."
"There's an extra fifty bucks if you can carry her all the way to the bed."