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"Two out of three."
Tags:double or nothing, two out of three, best of three, duel, duels, duelling, duelist, duelists, pistol, pistols, gun, guns, pistols at dawn, shoot, shooting, shot, injured, injury, victorian, victorians, unreasonable, irony, ironic, ironically, kill, killed, honor, honour, honorable, honourable, honored, honoured, classic, classic joke, classic jokes, slapstick, slap stick, slap-stick, kill, killed, fatal, fatality, regency, edwardian, word play, words, game, games, competitive, word play, word-play, last words
"I used to think he was my imaginary playmate till he stepped on Joey."
Tags:playmate, playmates, imaginary, imagination, imaginary friend, imaginary friends, giant, giants, accident, accidents, squish, squished, squash, squashed, crushed, fatal accident, fatal accidents, friend, friends, friendship, friendships, fall out, falling out, falls out, frenemy, frenemies, fatal, fantasy, reality, realities, fair weather friend, fair weather friends
Welcome to Lovers' Leap
Tags:lovers leap, assisted, unassisted, help, helpful, independent, assisted suicide, unassisted suicide, black humour, black humor, death, dead, end, dead end, doom, jump, jumps, jumping, leaping, leap, leaps, romantic tragedy, romantic tragedies, tragic, tragedy, fatal, fall, cliffs, high cliffs, downfall, direction, down
'Give it to me straight, Doc. How many billable hours do I have left?'
'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'
"I'm not sure what's wrong with you. We'll have to wait for the results to come back from the autopsy."
"You've got six months, but with aggressive treatment we can help make that seem much longer."
"Before you died, did you have that moment of total clarity?" "Oh yes, it was totally clear I was about to get hit by a bus."
"But living longer may not be right for you."
Tags:doctor, doctors, clinic, clinics, hospital, hospital, patient, patients, doctor's office, appointment, examination, medical, medicine, prescribe, prescription, prescriptions, sick, sickness, ill, illness, disease, diseases, incurable, fatal, hopeless, no hope, life quality, quality of life, euthanasia, medical insurance, health insurance, medical cover, medical bills, bedside manner, treatment options
'So no medical exams are required for this accidental death insurance. . . what about any preexisting fatal illnesses.'
"I guess you're already aware that your dog's rabies is highly infectious?"
'...So I said what I can't see can't hurt me...'
Tags:death, accident, accidental, silly, famous last words, last words, heaven, angel, reminisce, reminiscing, retrospect, respectfulness, wistful, regret, regrets, injury, injured, fatal, warning, trouble, belief, consequences, naivety, naive, disregard, nonchalant, angels, celestial being, celestial beings
'Yo Javelin toss is this way'
'Yes, I realize that a salt with a deadly weapon is frightening, but I only keep it to protect my family - and I always keep the safety on.
Tags:slug, slugs, bug, bugs, gun, guns, shotgun, shotguns, salt, seasoning, seasonings, deadly, fatal, weapon, weapons, fright, frights, frightening, frightens, frightened, explain, explanation, explanations, protect, protects, protection, protecting, protector, protectors, safe, safety, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
The glazed-cruller man (the gingerbread man's less swift, but more delicious cousin) makes a fatal error when he rolls into precinct 14.
Tags:police, policeman, policemen, donut, donuts, cruller, crullers, glazed, gingerbread, delicious, fatal, fatality, death, deaths, error, errors, mistake, mistake, unfortunate, unlucky, roll, rolls, rolling, rolled, precinct, precincts, station, stations, mug, mugging, mugged, mugger, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
"A bit nervous.. It is your first euthanasia I presume."
'There was a nonfatal stabbing at the local high school yesterday... Seems rather quaint given all the gun violence these days.'
'Bleeding. What are you doing?'
' Apparently it can be fatal for really old people like them.'
"How long I have got Doc?"
"Ere...why's that doctor trying my slippers on?"
'Outside of a side-effect that the drug may kill you, it's perfectly safe.'
'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'
'Don't worry... be happy.'
Caution: Slippery Surface.