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"I'm not losing a daughter-I'm getting rid of a daughter."
A bride and her father walk down an aisle decorated with cost of the wedding.
"Maybe, but I think the best part is that each father only has to pay for half a wedding!"
Father drags the bride away from from the groom while holding a tape.
'I've fully costed my wedding plans, Daddy.'
'Don't look at is as losing a duaghter, look at is as gaining an aging milionaire.'
"I guess I just always imagined I'd be givin' you the perfect shotgun wedding."
"Dad, stop saying you have a stake in this because you have to pay for the wedding!"
"Can't understand it - she went in on an old man's arm and came out on a young man's!"
'I'll bet you paid less for your photo studio than I paid for her dress.'
'What will it cost me for you to elope?'
'At least consider it. I'll give you £1000 to elope!'
"I haven't got time for a whole lot of paperwork. The wedding's tomorrow."
'I only need it for one day - my daughter is getting married on Saturday but is having second thoughts!'
'I've just worked out that our daughter's wedding will cost more than our first house...'
"What's your dad waiting for-a receipt?"
"What's all this I hear about you and wedding bells today,Mister Windowcleaner?"
'That's not what I had in mind for something 'Blue' Dad'
"We'll do it later - I believe it's bad luck to show the bill to the bride's father before the wedding."
"Unaccustomed as I am to public squeaking…"