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"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."
Tags:whale, whales, whaling, whaler, whalers, whaled, fat, fatness, fatter, fattening, weight, weightloss, weight loss, weigh, scale, scaled, proportional, proportion, new year new me, new year's, new years, new year's resolution, resolutions, new year's resolutions, nye, diet, dieting, crash diet, crash dieting, extreme diet, extreme diets, perspective, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, christmas weight
"Shut up. You could use an Empire waist, too!"
Tags:construction, construction worker, construction workers, builder, builders, contractor, contractors, men's clothing, men's wear, menswear, mens clothing, for men, masculinity, masculine, feminine, femininity, fashion, fashions, fashionable, flatter, flatters, flattering, empire line, empire waist, empire, empire dress, gut, guts, beer belly, beerbelly, belly, paunch, potbelly, pot belly, fat, fatter, weight, weight gain
"I love the sense of danger that comes with brushing up against childhood obesity."
Tags:fastfood, fast food, child, childhood, children, kid, kids, family, families, health, health and wellbeing, healthy, wellbeing, fitness, physical, fit, fat, fatness, fatter, fats, chips, chip, crisp, crisps, sweet, sweets, candy, candies, obese, obesity, weight loss, weight, weightloss, overweight, over weight, epidemic, obesity epidemic, comment, social commentary
"Oh, love handles! We haven't had those in a while."
Tags:desert, deserts, sand, sand dunes, mirage, wasteland, lost, getting lost, cactus, cactuses, cacti, wilderness, vulture, vultures, carrion, bird, diet, diets, dieting, chub, chubby, heavy set, fat, fatter, fatness, love handles, love handle, spare tire, ironic, dark humour, dark humor, black humor, black humour, gallows humor, gallows humor, dead, death, crawl, crawling, cuisine, cuisines, exotic food, exotic foods, variety, variation, variations
Speedo Limit: 21 Years
Tags:vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, limit, limits, liited, speedo, fitness, fit, fitter, fat, fatter, overweight, bulge, mid-life crisis, mid-life, middle age, middle-age, swimming, swim, swims, beach, beaches, beach body, sign, signs, signage, fashion, fashions, fashion faux pas, faux pas, young, youth, youthful
Santa eats too many mince pies
Actual vs. imagined response.
"Does this lens flare make me look fat?"
Tags:married life, marriage, adds ten pounds, pounds, lb, lbs, weight, weigh, overweight, fat, fatter, gaining weight, lose weight, losing weight, wardrobe, dressing, dressing up, body, body image, body issues, women, feminine, clothes, clothing, flatter, flattering, selfie, selfies, camera, effect, effects, sfx, special effects, lens flare, lens, flare, fashions, fashionable
'You know full well, your gastric band won't work if you keep eating spaghetti like that!'
'I wish to be thinner than all my friends.'
"Your contents have shifted."
Tags:middle age, middle-aged, age, ageing, mid-life, mid life, mid-life crisis, mid life crisis, medic, medics, growing old, growing older, older, beta-blocker, beta blocker, beta-blockers, beta-blockers, pill, pills, tablet, tablets, medicine, medicines, medication, medications, prozac, prozacs, baby boomer, baby-boomer, baby boomers, baby-boomers, bunion, bunions, weight, weigh, overweight, fat, fatter, old age, doctor, doctors, consultant, consultants, hospital, hospitals, check up, check-up
"It's mostly sweater weight."
Tags:dinner, dinner party, dinner parties, christmas party, christmas parties, office parties, office christmas, christmas time, winter, holiday, holidays, vacation, vacations, let yourself go, letting yourself go, christmas weight, weigh, weight, overweight, fat, fatter, fatness, sweater, sweaters, christmas sweater, christmas sweaters, christmas jumper, christmas jumpers, diet, dieting, dietting, diets
"Can you give me some you haven't chewed on already."
Tags:bird, birds, pigeon, pigeons, wildlife, urban, urban life, urban living, urban wildlife, urban birds, city bird, city birds, city life, city living, park, parks, central park, feed, feeding, bird feed, bird-feed, feed the birds, feeding the birds, park bench, bench, benches, chew, chewing, overweight, fat, fatter, eating, comfort eat, comfort eating, regurgitate, chew and spit, modern life, depressed, depression, rock bottom
"Why do they all gain those extra pounds at the exact same time of the year?"
Tags:christmas, christmas weight, christmas time, season's greetings, happy holidays, merry, happy, holiday, holidays, seasonal, vacation, vacations, weight, weight gain, food, foodie, foodies, food lover, food lovers, thanksgiving, turkey, turkey weight, winter, winter weight, fat, fatter, fattening, health, healthy, healthy lifestyle, lifestyle, moderation, fit, fitness, fitter, atlas, myth, mythology, mythological, greek, grecian, greek myth, greek myths, atlas, globe, the world
"I don't know—my gut tells me I should have another beer."
Tags:beer, beers, drink, drinking, drinker, drinkers, day drinking, sports bar, bars, bar fly, bar flies, boozing, binge drinking, daytime drinking, beer belly, gut, beer gut, instinct, instincts, fat, fatter, weight, overweight, dramatic irony, indicative, indicator, says it all, weight loss, alcohol, alcoholic, dad, dads, dad bod, pub
"Two per cent."
"Yes, you can take your earrings off if you think that would help,"
Missing The Problem
'And to think, in the 70s we were wearing pants that flared at the bottom.'
"You loved it on Joan Collins."
Tags:married, married life, marriage, wife, wives, husband, husbands, old fashioned, old married couple, couple, couples, fashion, fashions, faux pas, fashion faux pas, fat, fatter, fatness, weight, overweight, jacket, loud, loud pattern, eye catching, fashionista, fashionista, copy, copying, celebrities, celebrity, joan collins, jacket, dinner, dinner party, parties, dressed up, dressing up
"Every few years, Gordon and the TV get a couple of inches wider."
As years pass, viewer gets fatter as the TV gets slimmer.
If we're getting taller and thinner, and you're getting shorter and fatter, as we get older, shouldn't you be getting younger?'
Outback rat house? Darn ! Wish you guys would've said somethin' sooner. I just ate a hop pocket.
Tags:snake, snakes, rat, rats, rodent, rodents, kangaroo, kangaroos, house, houses, fat, fatter, fatty, eat, eaten, eats, eating, hop, hops, pocket, pockets, friend, friends, mate, mates, bud, buds, buddies, bonus, bonuses, package, packages, joey, joeys, meal, meals, late, later, outback, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater