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'You guys hear about Ethel and Bob? Apparently they got used for eggnog.'
This Christmas, Santa decided to use an energy saving light globe.
"In the light of the current financial position management has decided to cancel the Christmas party but. . .you can still come in and use the photocopier to photocopy your bottoms."
'...and did you pack the bag yourself?'
"Please hold applause until end of dragon."
"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"
Your dad is a union man, isn't he?
'Get Offa My Lawn!'
Santa being squeezed into chimney by reindeers.
'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'
Christmas gift exchange - bah humbug
'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'
'I love Christmas decorations; the house always seems twice as large when they're put away.'
"Suddenly, around January 15th, people become very tight fisted."
"Research shows that the festive season can trigger depression in some people."
'Some country that doesn't have Thanksgiving!'
Man whose head resembles a Christmas pudding.
"Eh, Merry Xmas!"
'C'mon in Rudolph, these ain't no reindeer games.'
Father Christmases Hand Over the New World Crisis
Christmas Treats for Cats
Reindeer delivering presents through door.
'OK, we've had a request to turn up the air-conditioning. Any objections to that?'