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'And finally, I would like to be buried with an elephant bone...Just to confuse future archaeologists.'
"I want everyone to leave the room, except for the cat."
"No more last requests."
"Her last wishes were that her ashes not leave a mess."
"I should have bought more crap."
'Are you SURE this is what he meant by a 'quiet' funeral?'
"And don't go auctioning off my stuff."
"I'm sorry, but Dad's final wishes were that you didn't get to sit in his chair."
'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'
'It was his last wish, Helen. 'Scatter my ashes,' he whispered, 'over my favorite spot on Earth.''
Do you want to be buried or cremated? - I'm not sure... - Well, would you rather risk being buried alive or burned alive? - Okay, okay. Cremated. - That wasn't so difficult, was it?
Hotdog vendor: 'When I go, I wanna be ground up into hotdogs, but I guess that ain't gonna happen!'
He said nothing about being cremated before his remains were scattered on the pitch.
'He wanted an ethical funeral, so I made use of the old laundry basket.'
"Please remember to baste me. I want a crisp skin, but not burnt! Place me between the mashed potatoes and stuffing. Save my bones and neck for soup. . ."