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'Today's financial report will be a short one: We had money, now we don't.'
The finance department finally achieved their ambition to produce a report that no-one could understand...
'Perhaps this graph will help you appreciate the jagged mountain range I climbed on my vacation.'
"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"
The government says tax rebates may be late because the defence department maxed out on its credit cards again...