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"I love the way you look like you're making money even though you're making no money at all."
Tags:financial advisor, financial adviser, financial advisors, financial advisers, financial advice, investor, investors, investment, investments, bank, banks, saving, savings, investing, investment strategy, investment strategies, money making, profit, profits, looking busy, stockbroker, stockbrokers, broker, brokers, investment banking
Tags:loan, loans, loaned, lend, lends, credit, creditors, debt, debts, dog, dogs, dog owner, dog owners, dog lover, dog lovers, pet, pets, bank manager, banker, bankers, bank managers, financial advice, financial, advisor, financial advisors, beg, begs, begging, the flying maccoys, flying mccoys, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"I'm giving you the best advice I can. Early care and a few simple preventive measures can save your credit rating."
Tags:doctor, doctors, md, mds, m.d.s, m.d., gp, gps, g.p.s, g.p., general practitioner, general practitioners, medical check up, medical check ups, clinic, clinics, doctors clinic, doctors clinics, doctor's clinic, preventative measure, preventative measures, doctor's clinics, hospital, credit rating, credit ratings, hospitals, credit score, credit scores, doctors appointment, doctors appointments, doctor's appointment, financial advice, priorities, bad priorities, wrong priorities, doctor's appointments
'This fortune cookie says, 'You will have good luck investing in emerging markets, fortune cookie & Chopstick Trading Company of Singapore.''
'I'm not interested in minimum risk. I want long term gains without risk.'
'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'
"The secret to shorting is to be the shorter, not the shorted."
"Avoid financial ventures—your credit line is very short."
Tags:fortune-telling, fortunetelling, fortune, fortunes, fortune-teller, fortune-tellers, fortuneteller, fortunetellers, fortune teller, fortune tellers, psychic, psychics, future, prediction, predictions, predicting, client, clients, customer, customers, chiromancy, palm reading, palm readings, palm reader, palm readers, palmistry, palmist, palmists, see the future, seeing the future, divination, seer, seers, occult, supernatural, advice, money, finances, financial advice, financial venture, financial ventures, credit line, credit lines, line of credit, loan, loans, bank, banks, banking, debt, debts, credit, investment, investments, investing, investor, investors, businessman, businessmen, business, line, lines, avoid, warning, warnings
"If you throw it to me I'll introduce you to my financial advisor."
'We have three confirmations, the crystal ball, the magic 8-ball and the coin flip, all say to buy.'
'Having investment jitters when the market is not experiencing jitters, is perfectly normal.'
"You can't learn the path to financial independence from just ANY infomercial."
Tags:financial independence, infomercial, infomercials, ad, ads, advert, adverts, advertisement, avertisements, advertising, financial advice, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advisor, financial advisors, sarcasm, sarcastic, snob, snobs, snobby, elite, elitist, elitists, independent life, independent lives, finances, personal finances
"I'll be okay when I retire. I'm maxing out my 401(K), stepping up my IRA contributions, and three times a year I bury two duffle bags filled with unmarked bills in my backyard."
Tags:saving, savings, retirement plan, retirement plans, retirement fund, retirement funds, retirement planning, unmarked bill, unmarked bills, ira contribution, ira contributions, 401k, 401(k), retirement, retirements, saving, savings, savings account, savings accounts, financial advice, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advisor, financial advisors
'When daddy comes home, tell him you still love him, even though he lost money with stupid trades in emerging markets.'
"This quarter we're very bullish on red."
Tags:investing, investor, investors, investment, investments, advisor, advisors, adviser, advisers, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial adviser, financial advisers, investment counselor, investment counselors, investment counseling, investment counsellor, investments counsellors, investment counselling, monte carlo, casino, casinos, gambling, gambler, gamblers, betting, bet, bets, bullish, advice, financial advice
"Can you increase its range?"
'Three stars means the stock has been approved by Alan Greenspan, Ben Bernanke, and Janet Yellen.'
"Could you folks come back tomorrow?—the muse just isn't with me today."
Tags:money, finances, personal finances, loan, loans, credit, debt, debts, lender, lenders, loan company, loan companies, borrower, borrowers, borrowing money, lending money, loan officer, loan officers, financing, financial advice, muse, muses, creative, creatives, inspiration, uninspired, bad credit, credit history, credit score, credit scores, credit record, credit records, credit check, credit checks
'The hunting and gathering has worked for you, but as you get older, it;s time to switch to dividend-yielding bonds.'
'The fiscal cliff and debt ceiling are scaring people. I see lots of traders going to emerging markets.'
"Your broker has 'comped' your meals."
Tags:broker, brokers, financial jargon, business jargon, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advice, comp, comping, comped, business lunch, portfolio, portfolios, business jargon, stockbroker, stockbrokers, broker, brokers, stock, stocks, investment, investments, investor, investors
"C'mon—I'm telling you there's money in land."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, fish, science, biology, evolution, evolutionary theory, darwin's theory of evolution, theory of evolution, darwin, land, real estate, property, properties, investing, investment, investments, investor, investors, money, finances, financial advice, convincing, persuading
"Of course he looks peaceful - he's lived his entire life in a bull market."
Tags:investor, investors, investment, investments, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial adviser, financial advisers, bull market, bull markets, hospital, hospitals, patient, patients, peaceful, financial advice, stock market, stock markets, stockbroker, stockbrokers, broker, brokers, stock, stocks
'You need a better long-term strategy than winning powerball.'
"Whatever you do, keep up with your mortgage payments."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, turtle, turtles, tortoise, tortoises, shell, shells, home, homes, house, houses, real estate, property, properties, mortgage, mortgages, loan, loans, payment, payments, money, finances, foreclosure, foreclosed, confiscated, eviction, evictions, evicted, financial advice, bank, banks, debt, debts