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'I'm in equities and mutual funds. You?'
'Have you thought about aging slower? Your 401(k) is in terrible shape.'
"Forget the allowance. I'm getting more than I need from venture capital."
'It's a market vane. It helps me keep track of the trade winds.'
"I love the way you look like you're making money even though you're making no money at all."
Tags:financial advisor, financial adviser, financial advisors, financial advisers, financial advice, investor, investors, investment, investments, bank, banks, saving, savings, investing, investment strategy, investment strategies, money making, profit, profits, looking busy, stockbroker, stockbrokers, broker, brokers, investment banking
'It's his only form of exercise these days...chasing yield.'
'As your financial adviser, I see nothing wrong with putting all of your eggs in one basket.'
Tags:easter, easter bunny, easter bunnies, bunny, bunnies, rabbit, rabbits, egg, eggs, easter egg, easter eggs, basket, baskets, finance, finances, advice, advise, advises, advising, advisor, advisors, adviser, advisers, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advisor, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"Actually, 'Monkey see, monkey do' has served me quite well in this market."
Tags:cliche, cliches, proverb, proverbs, monkey see, monkey do, investor, investors, investment, investments, hedge fund, hedge funds, monkey, monkeys, primate, primates, imitate, imitates, imitating, imitation, imitations, market fluctuation, market fluctuations, marketplace, marketplaces, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advisor, financial advisors
"Sorry, Mom. Sorry, Pop."
Tags:mom and pop, mom and pop store, mom and pop stores, mom & pop store, mom & pop stores, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, pop, pops, dad, dads, father, fathers, loan, loans, bank loan, bank loans, loan officer, loan officers, bank, banks, banker, bankers, money problem, money problems, business loan, business loans, cruelty, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advisor, financial advisors
'Who's to say my best friend can't also be my financial adviser?'
Tags:dog is a mans best friend, mans best friend, friend, friends, best friend, best friends, dog, dogs, dog owner, dog owners, dog owning, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, pet owning, financial adviser, financial advisor, adviser, advisor, advise, advised, financial, finance, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'I'm not interested in minimum risk. I want long term gains without risk.'
'This fortune cookie says, 'You will have good luck investing in emerging markets, fortune cookie & Chopstick Trading Company of Singapore.''
'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'
"Oh, Honey - our first bankruptcy!"
Tags:bankruptcy, bankruptcies, bankrupted, bankrupt, bankrupted, budget, budgets, family budget, family budgets, family finances, financial, financials, money management, money-management, bill, bills, bill payer, bill payers, bill-payer, bill-payers, money skill, money skills, financial management, money problem, fiscal, irresponsible, financially irresponsible, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advisor, financial advisors, fiscally responsible, fiscal irresponsibility, husband, husbands, wife, wives, proud, pride, achievement, achievements
'Now that's the kind of 'outside the box' thinking I've been talking about.'
'Having investment jitters when the market is not experiencing jitters, is perfectly normal.'
'We have three confirmations, the crystal ball, the magic 8-ball and the coin flip, all say to buy.'
"You can't learn the path to financial independence from just ANY infomercial."
Tags:financial independence, infomercial, infomercials, ad, ads, advert, adverts, advertisement, avertisements, advertising, financial advice, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advisor, financial advisors, sarcasm, sarcastic, snob, snobs, snobby, elite, elitist, elitists, independent life, independent lives, finances, personal finances
"Really? You'd like to be part of this?"
Dunlop and Crowel: Disinvestment Counselors
"This quarter we're very bullish on red."
Tags:investing, investor, investors, investment, investments, advisor, advisors, adviser, advisers, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial adviser, financial advisers, investment counselor, investment counselors, investment counseling, investment counsellor, investments counsellors, investment counselling, monte carlo, casino, casinos, gambling, gambler, gamblers, betting, bet, bets, bullish, advice, financial advice
"I'll be okay when I retire. I'm maxing out my 401(K), stepping up my IRA contributions, and three times a year I bury two duffle bags filled with unmarked bills in my backyard."
Tags:saving, savings, retirement plan, retirement plans, retirement fund, retirement funds, retirement planning, unmarked bill, unmarked bills, ira contribution, ira contributions, 401k, 401(k), retirement, retirements, saving, savings, savings account, savings accounts, financial advice, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advisor, financial advisors
"Don't worry about the two billion, Max—we've all done stupid things."
Tags:money, finances, business, businessman, businessmen, investor, investors, broker, brokers, stockbroker, stockbrokers, trader, traders, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial adviser, financial advisers, financier, financiers, banker, bankers, bank, banks, banking, mistake, mistakes, error, errors, billion, billions, stupid, dumb, incompetent, incompetence, incompetent, rich, wealthy, wealth, boss, bosses, executive, executives, exec, execs, manager, managers, management, corporate, corporation, corporations, company, companies, drop in the bucket
'Your hedge fund manager is here, sir.'
Please wait to be cheated.