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Despite recent uncertainty, analysts said today they will continue to make predictions.
"I was an eight, too, until the number crunchers got hold of me."
'Twelve financial analysts came up with 12 different valuations for this company. All they had in common was their $500hr fee.'
'There's been a slight devaluation.'
'With all due respect for your horoscope, Mr. Jones, the outlook for wheat this year is ... '
"I once had a firm foothold in reality, but I found that it seriously undermined my ability to function as a financial market analyst."
'They say money can't buy happiness. Find out what can.'
'I used to be a financial analyst - but all my predictions of economic meltdown came true!'
'Sorry, we just filled our Financial Analyst position, but we do have an opening in Sacrificial Lambs.'
'You should have been here last quarter when his earnings estimate was off by two cents, instead of one.'
'Basically it was a disappointing quarter for our Russian subsidiary which was...um...stolen.'
'After twenty years the only thing I've learned from reading stock chars is that there is nothing to learn from reading stock charts.'
'Hello, Huff & Swoon?...Yeah, buy me 300 shares of Hanukkah.'
'What a wonderful day to declare chapter 13!'
"It's a good time to buy risky stocks. Right now our analysts don't see anything that could spook the markets."
"I have no idea what they do, but whatever it is, they're doing less of it."