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"I mostly cover financial news."
"The market hit new highs today, while the contrition index remained at zero."
'Are we watching business news or sports news?'
"Markets reacted to the news by edging aside kind of awkwardly and then pretending to take a phone call."
"Well, I'm sure that Alan Greenspan's mother is very proud."
Tags:alan greenspan, chairman of the federal reserve, federal reserve, chair of the federal reserve, economist, economists, economics, business news, financial news, financial report, financial reports, stock market, stock markets, proud parent, proud parents, parental pride, economic downturn, economic downturns, recession, recessions, economic policy
'In a dramatic reversal, economists now believe that leading economic indicators are now lagging economic indicators.'
"On Wall Street today, the stock market corrected its previous correction, and is pretty sure it's got it right this time."
Tags:stock market, tv, news, correction, wall street, recession, financial crisis, economy, mistakes, market correction, market corrections, recessions, euphemism, euphemisms, crash, crashes, crashing, financial news, financial reporter, financial reporters, dow jones, djia, wall street, wall street trader, wall street traders, stockbroker, stockbrokers, mankoff
"On Wall Street today, news of lower interest rates sent the stock market up, but then the expectation that these rates would be inflationary sent the market down, until the realization that lower rates might stimulate the sluggish economy pushed the mark
'Today the dollar fell against all currencies with strange sounding names.'
"Today opened as November 10, 1987, swung wildly to March 7, 1996, and closed as December 5, 1902."
Tags:dow jones, djia, market, markets, market correction, market correction, crash, stock market crash, stock market crashes, blip, blips, wall street, day trader, day traders, day trading, financial news, finances, investor, investors, investment, investments, investing, news anchor, news anchors, stocks and bonds, stockbroker, stockbrokers, broker, brokers
'There's been no confirmation, but the possible merger of two giants has sent stock prices soaring.'
'They're the same financial publication. It just depends if you're bullish or bearish.'
'Stocks fell on the perception that stocks would fall on the perception that stocks were falling.'
'Don't mind him. He gets this wa every time they start talking about the inverse relationship between bond yields and prices.'
"AXP 0.78, AIG 1.12, T 2.63. . ."
Tags:bedtime story, bedtime stories, stock market, stock markets, stock, stockbroker, stockbrokers, stock exchange, financial news, financial report, financial reports, newspaper, newspapers, profit, bedtime ritual, bedtime rituals, kid, kids, scary story, scary stories, financial crash, financial crashes, financial crisis, financial crises
A Man and His Cat Read the Financial News.
"And now, if you don't want to know today's Dow Jones closing, look away from your set until the music stops."
'Today a ray of hope . . .'
'Oh, these? These are my recession chinos.'
'In corporate financial news, smoke up 12, mirrors down 14...'
"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"
Tags:financial market, financial markets, jittery market, jittery markets, market confidence, investor confidence, stock market, stock markets, federal reserve, chairman, inauguration, inauguration oath, stockbroker, stockbrokers, stock, stocks, investor, investors, market stability, financial news, business news, financial market, financial markets, jitter, jitters, nervous, nerves, calming influence, calming influences
'Don't worry, the money we're throwing at the economy is not U.S taxpayer money. It's borrowed money.'
'Stocks finished higher today, paced by rising drug and fuel costs, divorces,malpractice suits,bankruptcy fees and medical bills.'
"If I keep predicting a market crash, eventually I'll have to be right!"
Tags:market crash, market crashes, stock market, stock markets, stock exchange, economic downturn, economic downturns, recession, recessions, consumer confidence, market confidence, economist, economists, economic forecast, economic forecasts, business news, financial news, financial markets, journalist, journalists, journalism
'It says here, the world is heading for a cashless society. I always thought you and I were way ahead of our time!'