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'Have you thought about aging slower? Your 401(k) is in terrible shape.'
Unusual Retirement Plans
Tags:pension, pensions, pensioner, pensioners, 401k, 401ks, 401(k), retirement savings, retirement savings account, retirement savings accounts, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial planner, financial planners, investment, investments, investing, investor, investors, savings, savings account, savings account, irresponsible
Frosty's Retirement Plan
Cut-Rate Think Tanks - Now available for hire.
"Be truthful with me, Ben-what's the difference between mid cap and large cap?"
Tags:market capitalization, market capital, market capitalisation, mid cap, mid cap company, mid cap companies, large cap, large cap company, large cap companies, ignorant, ignorance, investor, investors, investment, investments, date, dates, dating, truthful, question, questions, investment advice, invest, invests, financial planner, financial planners, financial planning
'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'
'You have to think long-term. You can't afford to be old yet.'
Your portfolio looks fine. It's your dreams we need to talk about.
When Financial Planners Go To Prison.
"There's always an element of risk. No one has a crystal ball. OK, I have one, but no one knows how it works."
'You should start socking a few bucks away for retirement.'
'Financial planning requires long-term thinking. Especially if you get caught.'
'The content of your character, I'm sorry to say, doesn't figure in your net worth.'
'With all due respect for your horoscope, Mr. Jones, the outlook for wheat this year is ... '
"Help! I haven't saved enough for retirement!"
"Every day I ask myself, 'Am I embezzling enough for retirement?' "
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, crime, white collar crime, white-collar crime, embezzlement, embezzle, embezzler, embezzlers, misappropriation, skimming, stealing, retire, retirement, savings, retirement savings, money, aging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, growing old, mid life crisis, mid-life crisis, midlife crisis, bar, bars, pub, pubs, patron, patrons, customer, customers, drink, drinks, drinking, drinking alcohol, alcohol, alcoholic, finances, financial planning, financial planner, financial planners, financial plan, financial plans, saving for retirement
"With house prices the way they are then the idea of a 'lifetime' mortgage makes a lot of sense."
"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"
Tags:invest, invests, investor, investors, investing, stock, stocks, shares, stocks and shares, stock market, stock markets, share price, share prices, investment, investments, financial advice, financial advisor, financial advisors, buying stocks, dog, dogs, investment consultant, investment consultants, financial planner, financial planners, financial planning
"I expected more from my financial planeer than, "Look for a fast food place that's hiring."'
'Say, isn't that our financial planner dealing blackjack over there?'
"I don't believe in you. Besides, if you'r real, why do you need to worry about retirement investments? Aren't you timeless?"
"We can't always wing it with quick fix solutions. We need an effective long term miracle."
Tags:quick fix, quick fixes, problem solving, problem solver, problem solvers, long term, long-term, short-term, short-terms, solution, solutions, problem solve, problem solves, economic downturn, economic downturns, financial planning, financial planner, financial plans, business plan, business plans, business model, business models
"Of course, you can always supplement your retirement income with panhandling."
Tags:bank, banks, banking, money, finances, personal finance, personal finances, financial planner, financial planners, financial planning, retirement, retirement planning, retirement savings, savings, income, pension, pensions, retirement income, supplement, addition, additions, extra, extra income, panhandling, begging, hustling, poor, poverty, old, elderly, old people, elderly people, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, aging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, growing old, old age, couple, couples
Graph Your Relatives!
Tags:relatives, family, extended family, relations, aunts, uncles, cousins, mother, father, brother, sister, son, daughter, grand parents, grand father, grand mother, grand children, grand child, grand son, grand daughter, inheritance, financial planning, financial planner, retirement, retirement planning, estate, estate planning, will, wills, death, old age, aging, senior, senior citizen, elderly, oldie, oap
'We need to decide where to put what's left of your money. I suggest something short-term - like your memory.'